


Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance

by dixons_mama



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Bathroom Sex, CNA Bucky, Canonical Character Death, Captain America Steve Rogers, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Dancing, Dementia, Diana is a Good Bro, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, Frottage, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gay Steve Rogers, Happy Ending, Hotel Sex, Jealousy, Luis is a Gem, M/M, Masturbation, Not Really Unrequited, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shrunkyclunks, Steve Rogers Has A Filthy Mouth, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Switching, Tony Stark is an Asshole, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:21:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26159452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dixons_mama/pseuds/dixons_mama
Summary: Bucky Barnes loves his job as a certified nursing assistant at a senior care facility; taking care of and getting to know Peggy Carter has been an added perk. (Secretly, she is Bucky's favorite resident). When Captain America shows up and begins visiting her regularly, Bucky learns that Steve Rogers is far more than just his title.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 246
Kudos: 398





	1. Trying to be Real

**Author's Note:**

> In celebration of my birthday, I've decided to begin posting this long awaited fic. It has been a blast to write, and I couldn't have done it without my incredible beta, [ humapuma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/humapuma/pseuds/humapuma). She has been absolutely vital in creating this story and I can't thank her enough <3  
> All information regarding dementia has been verified by a professional (humapuma)!
> 
> Enjoy!

Bucky stood in front of the vending machine, contemplating whether he wanted a Snickers bar or Cheez-Its for lunch, when he suddenly noticed a reflection in the glass.

“Excuse me,” a deep voice said. 

Turning, Bucky found himself face to face with a tall, blonde haired man. He was fucking beautiful, too, Bucky thought. “Yes?” He did his best to remain professional. It wouldn’t be good for the care facility if one of their nurses was arrested for trying to climb a visitor.

“Um, could you direct me to Peggy Carter’s room?” The man asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Bucky resisted frowning. He’d always felt protective of Peggy, she was a brilliant woman, and she’d always treated him kindly, even on her worst days. “I don’t remember hearing that she was having a visitor today,” He said casually, knowing he couldn’t out right interrogate the guy.

“Oh, um…” Steve’s eyes darted down the hallway and he bit his lip.

Bucky furrowed his brows, suddenly feeling suspicious, but before he could say anything, his boss seemed to appear out of nowhere.

“Mr. Rogers, I’m Claire Temple, thank you for coming.” Claire turned to Bucky then. “This is _Steve_ Rogers, for security reasons, he will be bypassing the main office on his visits and signing in privately.”

Bucky did his best to keep his expression neutral, feeling like a complete idiot that he hadn’t recognized Captain America standing right in front of him. “I’m so sorry, sir. Of course, I understand. I can show you to her room right away.”

“Thank you, James.” Claire smiled, before looking to Steve. “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask. James here is a CNA and works closely with Ms. Carter. He can answer any questions you may have.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Steve extended his arm, shaking hands with Claire. Once she’d walked away, Bucky stared at Steve awkwardly. It seemed that being in the presence of a historical icon, who was also the most gorgeous looking man Bucky had ever seen, had temporarily short circuited his brain.

Steve looked at Bucky in return, and his cheeks tinged pink. As his mind came back online, Bucky realized he had a job to do and nodded down the hall. “I can take you to see Peggy now, Mr… Uh, Captain… Rogers.” He cringed inwardly at his lack of chill.

“Please, call me Steve.” Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky could see that Steve was fidgeting mercilessly as they walked down the corridor 

“Today is one of her good days,” Bucky said quietly. “I think she’ll be happy to see you.” 

“H-how is she? I mean, usually, how is she?”

“It really depends. Sometimes she’ll have a few good days in a row, followed by several days that are, well… not so good.” Bucky stopped suddenly, and looked at Steve. “Has anyone talked to you about her illness?”

Steve shook his head solemnly, so Bucky took a deep breath, knowing what he said next was never easy to hear.

“Dementia is basically a failure of the brain. A person with this disease can have extreme mood swings and, over time, they begin forgetting. Not just people, either, but things like bathing, getting dressed, and even eating are lost.” Bucky watched Steve’s face, noting his tight lipped expression. “Peggy still has plenty of good days, but there are times when she isn’t herself. You have to understand, most people with this illness tend to remember things from their past, but can forget events that occured just minutes or hours before.”

“I understand.” Steve gave a small nod, and they began walking again.

“She has had altercations with the staff, verbal disagreements, really, but she’s never been violent.”

Steve sniffled and scrubbed his hands over his face roughly. “Okay.”

"Capt- er, Steve." Bucky waited until Steve was looking at him before continuing. "Peggy talks about you a lot. Even on her bad days, she remembers _you_ . I know how scary this is- how powerless you feel. But it's still _her_ in there."

Once they reached Peggy’s room, Bucky turned to Steve again. “Do you have any questions?”

Looking at the door, Steve bit his lip nervously and turned to Bucky. “Are you… will you be…”

“I’ll be right here, should you need anything.” Bucky gave a reassuring smile.

“Thank you, I appreciate your help.” Steve took a deep breath and entered the room. Bucky pulled the door nearly all the way shut before sitting in a chair across the hall.

Reaching into his pocket he found his phone and began looking up recent articles about Steve Rogers. Bucky didn’t often keep up with tabloids, but he’d heard about the unexpected return of Captain America. At the time, he hadn’t thought much of it, but now, seeing Steve in person and seeing how insecure he seemed to be, it struck Bucky at how hard this reintroduction into the world must be for him. When he came across a story that included a picture of Steve with Peggy, Bucky found himself unable to look away. The way they were looking at each other, so adoringly and with bright smiles on their faces; Bucky could feel a lump forming in his throat. He couldn’t imagine how incredibly difficult it would be for Steve to see Peggy now, her mind deteriorating and body failing.

After reading a couple of articles about Steve’s entry back into the real world, Bucky put his phone away before quickly retrieving his paperwork from the front desk and sitting back down to fill it out. Paperwork was the bane of his existence, and while Bucky understood that it was a necessary evil, he still hated doing it. 

Once half an hour passed, Bucky decided to check in on them. Peggy often wasn’t up for long visits and he needed to be sure she was doing okay. When he peeked his head in, Bucky saw Steve sitting in a chair beside the bed, watching Peggy sleep. The only word he could use to describe the expression on Steve’s face, was forlorn.

“Steve?” Bucky took a few steps into the room. “Everything okay?”

Slowly, Steve turned to look at him, and Bucky was sure he could see unshed tears in Steve’s eyes. “Yeah, she just fell asleep. I was about to leave.”

“You’re welcome to stay longer-”

“No,” Steve’s voice wavered as he stood. “I should get going. She… she needs her rest.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Would you like me to walk you out?” Bucky asked, stepping aside to allow Steve’s broad frame to cross the doorway.

Stopping short, looking almost surprised by the offer, Steve had the smallest hint of a smile on his face as he nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that. Thank you, James.”

“Oh, you can call me Bucky.” 

“Okay.” Steve’s smile widened at that. “Thanks, Bucky.”

Bucky knew it wasn’t his place to ask, but he couldn’t help wondering how the visit went. Had Peggy remembered Steve? Was she happy to see him? What did they talk about? As they reached the lobby, Steve stopped and turned to Bucky, but seemed to hesitate.

“Are you okay?” Bucky gently placed his hand on Steve’s elbow.

“I just…” Steve swallowed thickly. “She remembered me, and she told me about her life. Bits and pieces of it.”

“Yeah?”

“She told me she regretted that I hadn’t been able to live mine.” Shaking his head, Steve looked down at his feet.

“You’ve got a second chance, though. You can live it now, right?” Bucky gave a companionable smile when Steve looked up at him.

“I don’t know.” Steve sighed, and looked towards the doors leading outside. “I don’t know if I can, if I even know _how_.” He suddenly seemed to realize what he was saying, and his eyes widened. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

“It’s okay, I prefer not betraying the trust of superheroes.” Bucky tried to joke, but could tell right away that it fell flat.

Steve sighed, looking dejected. “What about just ordinary men?”

Cringing inwardly, Bucky took a step forward and looked Steve in the eyes. “Steve Rogers’ secrets are just as safe with me, I promise.”

Bucky watched as Steve’s eyes roamed over his features, looking almost curious; when he finally looked into Bucky’s eyes, there was an unreadable expression on his face. “Thank you,” He breathed, then turned and walked out.

“Whoa, was that Captain America?” Bucky jumped as Luis suddenly appeared behind him.

“No, Luis,” Bucky asserted, feeling the need to protect him. If Steve hoped to have a place where he could just _be_ , then Bucky wanted to respect that wish. “That was _Steve Rogers_.”

“Psh, same thing!” Luis snarked back, laughing.

“No-” 

“Hey, are you busy? I need a hand dealing with Marianne,” Luis interrupted, speaking quickly.

Bucky groaned, not wanting to deal with the self-proclaimed witch. “Fine, let’s get this over with.” 

*

Nearly an hour later, Bucky was walking out of Marianne’s room, a scratch across his face and various bodily fluids on his scrubs. Luis followed quickly behind, a handful of hair missing from his scalp, as Marianne shouted, “I never leave empty handed!”

“Phew, thanks for the help, bro,” Luis panted. He winced as he rubbed his head.

Bucky plopped into a chair and took a deep breath. “Yeah, you owe me.” 

“Of course. After that, I owe you at least a king size bag of M&M’s!”

“Damn right,” Bucky huffed out with a tired smile. “I’m gonna go clean up and head out.”

“See ya tonight, bro!” Luis chuckled as he went to fill out the proper reports and paperwork.

Bucky walked into the staff locker room and carefully peeled his soiled clothes off, grimacing at the smell. He washed up best he could in the sink before putting on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. After grabbing his wallet, Bucky closed his locker and headed outside where his roommate sat waiting in her car.

“You look spent, Bucky.” Diana looked at him with concern in her eyes.

“Yeah, long day,” Bucky mumbled as he put his seatbelt on. When Diana still hadn’t pulled into traffic, Bucky glanced at her. “What?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.

“I’m fine. Luis asked me to help him with Marianne, and you know how she is,” Bucky huffed, and Diana nodded. “You’re so lucky you had today off.”

Grinning, she pulled away and began the short drive home. “Even us lowly social workers need a break every now and then.” Diana gave him a playful shove. “Do you know what a break is, Bucky?”

“Hmm.” Bucky scratched his chin and pursed his lips. “I can’t say that I do. Please remind me.”

Diana giggled. “It’s when you _aren’t_ working.”

“Blasphemy!” Bucky gasped, placing his hand over his heart in mock outrage before they both broke down laughing.

Once they'd finally made it home, Bucky immediately got into the shower to wash away the stench that lingered on his skin. After thoroughly scrubbing himself from head to toe, he dried off and put on a pair of shorts.

"You smell much better," Diana said, with a grin on her face as Bucky entered the living room.

"I agree." Bucky sighed and plopped down on the couch. "Remind me to never help Luis again."

"Even if I did, you wouldn't stop. You're too good. You don't know how to _not_ help people." Diana leaned over and kissed Bucky's cheek, causing him to blush. "So what are you doing tonight?"

Bucky smiled. "Going out with Luis and the crew."

"Oh? Are you planning on bringing someone home?" She waggled her eyebrows at him. "Should I stay at Frank and Matt’s place tonight? It’s been a while since we had a karaoke night."

"Oh God, no." Bucky chuckled. "Nope, I am one hundred percent done with men. I need a break from it all, you know?"

"I understand." Diana sat up straight and crossed her arms. "No men!" She nearly shouted.

"Diana!" Bucky fell into her lap, laughing. "You're the best. Definitely my Wonder Woman."

"Oh, Bucky," She sighed, carding her fingers though Bucky's hair, "you're my Wonder Woman, too."

Bucky snorted loudly in amusement and Diana smiled softly at him.

*

As Bucky stumbled back into his apartment that night, he did his best to make it to his bedroom without waking Diana, and considered it a success when he only bumped into the dining room table with minimal swearing. He kicked off his sneakers and peeled himself out of his jeans and shirt before falling back onto his bed. Lying there, Bucky allowed his hazy mind to wander where it pleased, eventually stopping when he began thinking of Steve.

Remembering how handsome Steve was, how _built_ he was, it had Bucky’s cock hardening in his boxers. At a little over six feet and two hundred pounds of muscle, Bucky rarely had partners that were even close to his size, so just the thought of Steve being able to throw him around in bed was more than arousing. He reached down and gripped himself, groaning as he thought about Steve flipping him over roughing him up. “ _Fuck_ ,” He moaned, yanking down his boxers and stroking his erection. “ _Bet you’re big everywhere_ ,” Bucky whispered out loud, imagining just how big a super soldier's cock might be.

It wasn’t long before Bucky’s hand and abdomen were covered in come, and he lay there panting, too tired to even move. Moments later, with a smile on his face, Bucky fell asleep.

The next thing he knew, Diana was yelling his name. “Bucky, do you know where-” His door swung open and Diana made exaggerated gagging sounds. Still half asleep, Bucky pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked at her. “Oh my God,” she groaned, “you are a heathen.” With that, she turned and slammed the door behind her. Frowning, Bucky looked down at himself and realized why she’d been so affronted: he was naked and painted in dry come.


	2. Before I Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know one another, Bucky finds himself crushing hard on Steve. Peggy (unwittingly?) is a good bro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the heartbreaking loss of Chadwick Boseman, I've decided to post chapter 2, in hopes of bringing some light to this dark time.
> 
> RIP, King <3

After spending the entirety of Monday morning on his feet, looking after residents, Bucky was more than ready to sit down for his lunch break. As he was about to enter the staff break room, Bucky heard a familiar voice and turned around. He quickly spotted Steve fidgeting and looking around nervously, as Luis was going full word vomit on him. 

“ _Shit_ ,” He groaned to himself and rushed over to intervene. As soon as Steve spotted him, he smiled shyly, and Bucky wondered how a man as sexy as Steve Rogers could also look so adorable.

“Hi,” Steve said to him, eyes darting back and forth between Bucky and Luis.

“Hey, Steve.” Bucky could feel his cheeks heating up as he remembered his drunken fantasy. “Peggy is actually getting a bath right now, but if you’d like-”

“I can wait,” Steve interrupted loudly, before blushing deeply. “I mean, if that’s okay. I don’t want to be in the way.”

Luis smirked at Bucky. “It was nice to meet you, Cap. I’ll let you get on with your day now.” Giving an over the top salute, he turned and walked away, whistling The Star Spangled Banner.

“Sorry about him, he can be… a bit much.” Bucky rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Steve huffed out a laugh. “He’s tame compared to Tony.”

“Tony?” Then it hit him. “Oh, Stark, right. I’ve heard the stories.”

Steve shifted from foot to foot, looking around the lobby. “Um,” he began, but didn’t continue and Bucky could feel the anxiety radiating off of him.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” He asked.

“Well, I just… I’m not a big fan of medical facilities.” Steve’s face became splotchy and red. “When I was younger…”

“I understand.” Bucky answered with a slight nod. “Would you like to sit out in the garden? I could take you.”

Relaxing visibly, Steve smiled. “That’d be great, thank you.”

Leading the way, Bucky led Steve to the brightly colored garden behind the building and pointed out a bench he could sit on. “Here you go. Peggy shouldn’t be much longer. Do you need anything?”

“Actually, could… w-would you mind, um,” Steve stuttered, clearly uncomfortable, and it broke Bucky’s heart.

Bucky sat beside Steve then. “Want some company while you wait?”

“I don’t want to keep you, if you’re busy.”

“Matter of fact, I’m not busy at all. I’d much rather be sitting out here with you than stuck in the lounge with Luis.” Bucky chuckled and Steve grinned.

“I’m glad,” He murmured.

“Excellent.” Bucky patted his thighs absentmindedly. “How was your weekend?”

Steve’s eyes widened, seemingly caught off guard by the question, and Bucky wondered when the last time someone asked him something that wasn’t Avengers-related. “It was fine,” Steve finally answered but it sounded like a mechanical response.

“Yeah?” Bucky watched Steve’s face. “Did you do anything fun?”

“Fun?” He sounded genuinely confused as he furrowed his brow.

“Like, go out with friends?” Bucky decided to try and lighten the mood. “Or stay home on the couch in your underwear, binge-watching Netflix?”

“Oh, I didn’t… uh, I haven’t-” Steve scrubbed his hands over his reddening face and Bucky tilted his head curiously. “People don’t really ask me stuff like that, kinda caught me off guard.” He huffed out a humorless laugh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” Bucky cringed, hoping he hadn’t overstepped.

“No, it’s fine, I… it’s nice.” Steve smiled and Bucky felt his heart doing something weird in his chest. He’d look into _that_ later. Maybe. “I mostly worked over the weekend. To be honest, I don’t know what I’d even do if I had free time.”

Bucky frowned slightly but nodded. “I know what you mean,” he replied. “I don’t get a lot of time off either. When I do, I’m usually too exhausted to do anything.” Then he quickly added, “I’m not comparing our jobs! I just-”

Steve chuckled, lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes, and Bucky found himself struggling not to gape at how beautiful Steve looked. “I don’t know, I think what you do is heroic. You do a lot of good for the people you take care of.”

“I-” Bucky could feel his cheeks burning at the compliment. “I’m just a CNA, I don’t-”

“Don’t downplay yourself, Bucky. I can tell you’re a good guy, and your profession is an admirable one.” Steve smiled brightly and Bucky had to look away briefly, lest he melt into a puddle on the spot. “What made you get into this line of work?”

“Oh, um, well… My grandma had to be in a place like this and even though she wasn’t always…” Bucky gesticulated with his hands and Steve nodded in understanding. “I remember the CNAs always treated her with respect and dignity. I saw how overworked they were, but I couldn’t help but want to help people like that. You know?”

“Yeah.” Steve cocked his head slightly before grinning. “I get it.”

“Shit,” Bucky hissed at himself. “I’m so sorry, of course you do. I didn’t-”

“You’re fine.” Steve bumped his shoulder against Bucky’s playfully. “Go on.”

Bucky fidgeted, debating whether he should tell Steve about this part of his life. Taking a deep breath, he decided to go for it. “When I turned sixteen, I… I came out to my parents, told them I was gay. That same day, they kicked me out, and I had to drop out of high school. It was rough going, but eventually I was able to get my GED, and then I saw an advertisement offering CNA training. And now I’m here.”

“That’s awful, what your parents did to you, Bucky.” Steve’s eyes looked misty and Bucky wondered if he was about to cry. “I’m glad you were able to make something of yourself, despite your hardships.”

“I’m glad, too.” Bucky could feel his cheeks heating up as he watched Steve’s expression soften, his eyes darting across Bucky’s face, before a soft smile formed on his lips.

“Bucky… I-”

“Hey, Barnes!” Luis shouted, causing both men to jump. “Peggy’s asking for you!”

*

As they entered her room, Bucky saw that Peggy was sitting in her favorite chair by the window, basking in the sunlight. She turned and a smile lit up her face when she saw the two of them. “James! You brought Steve!” 

“I did.” Bucky looked at Steve and saw that his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Turning back to Peggy, he asked, “Luis said you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, I wanted to see how you were.” She frowned. “I hadn’t seen you all morning.”

“Oh, I apologize.” Bucky sat in the chair beside her. “I was up to my eyeballs in paperwork and doing rounds in the other wing.”

“I suppose I can forgive you this one time, since you brought Steve with you.” Peggy smirked before looking at Steve. “How are you, dear? I hope you didn’t have to wait long.”

“I’m doing alright,” he replied, stepping closer. “Bucky kept me company while you were busy.” 

“James is such a good boy. He’s my favorite.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “Don’t tell the other Howlies.”

Bucky watched as Steve swallowed thickly, clearly doing his best to school his expression, before mime zipping his mouth shut, making Peggy giggle. “How was your weekend?” Steve then asked.

“Oh, it was fine. The weekends are always boring without James here.” She clutched at the blanket on her lap. “He makes delightful company.”

Steve glanced at Bucky with a smile. “From the couple of times I’ve spoken with him, I’d have to agree.”

Bucky felt his cheeks heating up.

“Is that so?” She asked with a head tilt.

“He helped me out the first time I visited, and earlier he kept me company in the garden.” 

“That’s wonderful to hear. What did you boys talk about?”

Bucky bit his lip, suddenly feeling embarrassed at all that he’d told Steve. “Um-”

“Bucky told me about how he became a CNA,” Steve interrupted, smiling at him, and taking a seat beside Peggy.

“Such a resilient young man, the world needs more men like James.” Peggy looked from Bucky to Steve, smirking. “Wouldn’t you agree, Steve?”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up and his cheeks turned bright red. “ _Peggy_ ,” he groaned, doing his best to compose himself, before mumbling, “Yeah.”

Unsure what exactly was going on between the two of them, Bucky stood. “Would you like to have some music, Peggy?”

“That sounds lovely, thank you,” Peggy sighed, seemingly exhausted from her short burst of enthusiasm. Bucky went to the record player on her side table and turned the needle down, allowing the voice of Kay Kyser’s _Who Wouldn’t Love You_ to flow through the room. Peggy closed her eyes and began humming, a small smile forming on her face. “Do you remember this song, Steve?”

“Yeah, I remember when we danced to it.” Steve gave a half hearted smile in return.

Peggy opened her eyes then. “ _I_ danced to it, _you_ merely stepped on my toes for two minutes straight.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. “That’s true.”

“Has your dancing improved since then?” She asked.

“Um, no. I don’t think so, anyway. Haven’t really danced since…” Steve’s face became closed off and unreadable.

“Well, let me tell you,” Peggy continued, not noticing Steve’s change in demeanor. “James is an excellent dancer, we’ve danced a few times, and he’s very impressive.” She reached out for Bucky’s hand, patting it. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind teaching you sometime!” Bucky could feel his eyes widening dramatically.

Steve looked down at his feet, huffing out a humorless laugh. “Bucky doesn’t want to spend what little free time he has teaching Captain America how to dance.” 

Bucky frowned then, he could hear the bitterness in Steve’s tone. “You’re right,” He said, waiting until Steve looked at him. “I wouldn’t mind teaching Steve Rogers how to dance, though.”

Staring at him for a moment, Steve looked unsure as he rubbed the back of his neck and briefly looked away. When he turned back, Bucky saw a light blush on his cheeks. “That’s very generous of you.”

“That settles it,” Peggy quipped, “I expect a performance once you’ve got the hang of it.”

Both men chuckled. Bucky didn’t expect Steve to actually want dance lessons from him, if Steve wanted to learn to dance, he could easily get an instructor. Probably a gorgeous female instructor. Bucky internally shook himself, ashamed of having had such demeaning thoughts.

“Peggy?” Steve’s voice had Bucky immediately turning to her. She was smiling at them, but with a distant gaze in her eyes, and Bucky knew it was time to give her a break. 

“Peggy, we’re going to let you rest for a bit now, but Steve will be back to visit again soon.” Bucky said quietly, getting up from his seat, before looking at Steve. “We should let her rest now.” 

“Yes, dear, that’s fine.” Peggy stood then, and Bucky helped her to her bed. Once she was comfortable, he placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder and he nodded.

As they exited Peggy’s room and began walking down the hallway, Bucky blanched when Marianne seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Frowning inwardly, he desperately hoped he could get her back to her room before Steve experienced one of her infamous meltdowns. But just as he was about to approach her, she looked at Steve, an expression of awe on her face. Taking a step forward, she continued to stare before finally, she spoke.

“Je me souviens de toi, Captaine America.” Her voice was raspy but strong and it halted Bucky. In all the years that Marianne had been at the facility, he’d never heard her speak with such lucidity.

Steve gently took Marianne’s hand in his own before he replied, “Je me souviens de toi aussi, Marianne.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped as he watched the scene unfolding before his eyes. Even though he didn’t know what they were saying, it was obvious that Marianne _knew_ who Steve was, and by his reaction, Steve knew her, too. Seeing a flicker of who Marianne really was, who she was before her mind began breaking down, nearly brought Bucky to tears. Moments like this _rarely_ happened, and he wondered where and when the two of them had ever interacted.

In the blink of an eye, Marianne’s lips curled into a wicked smile, and Bucky knew she was gone. As two CNAs walked by, Bucky stopped them. “Could you help Marianne back to her room?” With a nod, they slowly, carefully led her away. When he looked to Steve, he was still watching Marianne until she was out of sight. As he turned back around, Bucky was surprised to see a soft smile on Steve’s face.

“I met her during the war,” He said quietly, “she was just a little girl. I helped her escape a small village in France.” Bucky could only gape. “Nazis had killed nearly everyone there… but somehow Marianne survived.”

“That-that’s incredible,” Bucky breathed. 

Steve briefly glanced back in the direction that Marianne had gone, and smiled. “Yeah, I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.”

“Understandably.” Bucky wasn’t sure what to say next, this whole visit had been one surprise after another.

“Can we talk for a moment?” Steve asked then. “Privately?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.” Doing his best to put on his professional face, Bucky led Steve back out to the garden, and the two of them sat. “What is it?” 

Fidgeting momentarily, Steve took a deep breath before speaking. “What you said earlier, about teaching me to dance, I get that you were just pacifying Peggy…”

“No,” Bucky interrupted, furrowing his brow. “That was a genuine offer. I mean, it’s fine if you don’t want to, though.” Bucky felt a small pang of disappointment in his chest.

“Really?” Steve looked and sounded genuinely surprised, and it made Bucky huff out a laugh.

“Yeah, really. Did you…”

“I’d really like that.” Steve’s smile was megawatt and it made Bucky’s stomach do a weird flip. “It sounds... fun.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. “Is this going to be your first time doing it in the twenty-first century?” When Steve blushed, Bucky realized how that actually sounded. “I mean dancing, of course!”

Steve began cracking up then, and the two of them laughed until they were both red in the face. Bucky couldn’t keep his eyes off of Steve, seeing him look so happy, _genuinely happy_ , made him even more stunning. When they’d both settled and finally caught their breath, Steve asked, “Where did you want to hold the lessons?”

“Oh, uh, wherever you’re most comfortable.” Bucky ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his face.

“Do… could we do it at your place?” Steve actually _giggled_ then. “Dance, I mean.”

“Oh my God.” Bucky smirked as he bumped his knee against Steve’s. “You just keep surprising me.” When Steve bit his lip nervously, Bucky quickly added, “I like it. Most people are so predictable. It’s fun to be surprised.”

“I’m glad you think so.” 

“But yeah, we can do it- the lessons, at my place. I have a roommate but she’s always busy, so I don’t think it’ll be an issue.” Bucky held his hand out. “If you want, I can put my number in your phone and text you my address, then you can let me know when you want to set it up.”

Steve snatched his phone out of his pocket in such haste that he nearly dropped it, handing it to Bucky. “Um, I can probably get some free time on Sunday but I’ll let you know if something comes up.” 

Bucky smiled, handing the phone back once he’d placed his number in it. “Can’t wait.”


	3. I'll Just Call it a Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to continue posting Fridays and Saturdays. As you can see, I've added the total number of chapters. I'm currently working on 11, and feel confident I'll have the entire fic complete by the time it comes to post :)

“Diana,” Bucky announced as he swung open the door to their apartment, “I need you to be busy on Sunday.”

Arching an eyebrow, Diana looked at him suspiciously. “Should I refrain from asking why?”

“I’m going to be teaching Steve Rogers how to dance,” He answered with a wide grin.

“Yeah, and I’ve got a lunch date with Bruce Banner.” Diana laughed and rolled her eyes.

“I’m being serious.” Bucky sat beside her at the kitchen table. “He’s been visiting Peggy Carter, and we’ve talked a couple of times. Peggy kind of insisted on it.”

“And Captain America just _agreed_ to take dance lessons from you? At your apartment?” Diana still sounded skeptical.

“No, _Steve Rogers_ did. He’s not… He wants to be treated like just an ordinary guy.” Bucky frowned slightly.

Diana hummed, nodding her head. “That’s understandable.” She then smiled at him.

“What?” 

“You have a crush on him.” Diana giggled.

“He’s Steve Rogers, _everyone_ has a crush on him.” Bucky huffed defensively but he could feel his cheeks heating up. He knew he was smitten with the man, even though they hadn’t spent much time together.

“Uh huh.” Diana smirked before excitedly saying, “I’ll go visit Selina, she just got a new litter of foster kittens and I need to cuddle them all.”

Bucky laughed. “Great, thanks. Don’t forget to take lots of pictures for me!” He then quickly added, “Don’t you dare bring one home, either.”

“You’re not the boss of me.” She pouted dramatically, but it quickly turned into a mischievous smirk.

“Diana,” Bucky sighed, “you’re such a menace.”

Diana only laughed in return.

*

The rest of the week seemed to drag on at a snail’s pace and Bucky was ready to pull his hair out by the time Friday rolled around. He’d seen Steve twice since Monday but only in passing. A CNA from another wing had called off and Bucky was covering for her, leaving him busier than ever. No matter how much he wanted to, there just wasn’t time to stop and chat. But there was something else too. He hadn’t told anyone but he was _nervous_ about his dance lesson with Steve. Bucky knew he was a fairly good dancer but he wasn’t exactly a graduate of Julliard. What if Steve wasn’t impressed? Or thought Bucky was just wasting his time?

Shaking his head against the neverending self doubt, Bucky poured himself a cup of coffee from the staff breakroom before heading back to the front desk to collect more paperwork. Taking a sip, he cringed at the burnt taste.

“That bad, huh?” Steve’s voice had Bucky nearly tripping over his feet as he spun around to face him. “Woah!” He grabbed Bucky by the shoulders, helping to steady him.

Bucky couldn’t help but relish the tight grip of Steve’s hands on him and blushed when he realized how foolish he must have looked. “Sorry,” He mumbled.

Steve laughed, releasing Bucky. “You’re fine. Just happened to notice the look of disgust on your face when you were drinking your coffee. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Oh, yeah.” Bucky looked at his cup with a frown. “It’s always burnt. I don’t know who keeps making it but it’s _always_ burnt.”

“That’s a tragedy,” Steve agreed. “Coffee has come a long way since the forties and I’ve quickly learned to appreciate that there is a Starbucks or cafe on just about every street corner.” Steve smiled, lines crinkling around his eyes.

“Same here. I’d give my left arm to be able to get an iced caramel macchiato every morning, but I’m one of those people that’s just perpetually running late, and it usually doesn’t work out.” Bucky chuckled nervously before adding, “I’m not a coffee snob or anything, though.”

Steve threw his head back, grabbing his left pec as he laughed. “I can handle a coffee snob. Natasha tops the cake when it comes to that.”

“Oh.” Bucky’s eyes widened at that, remembering that Steve was actually _friends_ with the Avengers. He rubbed the back of his neck as he felt his face heating up, suddenly feeling out of his depths. “I should get going, paperwork waits for no man.”

“Oh! Right, of course. I didn’t mean to-”

“It-It’s fine.” After grabbing a stack of folders off the desk, Bucky gave a reassuring smile. “It was really nice talking to you.”

“Yeah, it was,” Steve said softly, smiling in return. “I’ll see you on Sunday?”

“You will.” Bucky winked and instantly felt like a fool when Steve raised his eyebrows at him. He grimaced at himself, before spinning around and hastily heading to the nurses station.

*

That night, as Bucky lay in his bed, scrolling through his Twitter feed, he received a text from an unknown number. Frowning, he opened it.

_Unknown: Hi, are we still on for Sunday?_

_Unknown: This is Steve._

_Unknown: Steve Rogers._

Chuckling, Bucky quickly added Steve to his contacts before replying.

_Sent: Hi, Steve, you managed to get some free time?_

_Steve: I did! When would you like me to come?_

Bucky nibbled at his lip, fighting back the filthy thoughts accumulating in his brain at the idea of Steve _coming_. He shook his head and finally answered.

_Sent: Whenever is good for you, my roommate will be out between 9am and 4pm._

_Steve: I’ll be there at 9:01 :D_

Bucky couldn’t hold back the wide smile that spread across his face.

_Sent: Great, I’ll see you then._

_Steve: You will ;)_

“Oh my God,” Bucky groaned, covering his eyes.

_Sent: Could you please forget that I ever did that?_

_Steve: Nope, not with my eidetic memory._

_Steve: Also, I wouldn’t want to anyway._

Bucky frowned.

_Sent: That’s cruel, why would you want to remember that?_

After watching the typing bubbles for nearly a minute, Steve finally gave a short response.

_Steve: It was cute._

Bucky felt his face heating up as his jaw dropped. Did Steve just call him cute? He wasn’t sure what the appropriate response to that would be. Shaking his head, Bucky ran his fingers through his hair. Steve probably just meant it was cute seeing him embarrassed… which was still something. Or was it? Was it possible that cute meant something else in the forties? He’d have to Google that. When he suddenly realized he hadn’t replied, Bucky grimaced, still unsure of how to respond. Taking a deep breath, he sent a reply.

_Sent: Oh_

Tossing his phone onto his nightstand, Bucky wailed dramatically.

“Bucky,” He heard Diana’s voice through the wall. “Did you embarrass yourself again?”

“Shaddup!” Turning on his side, Bucky decided he would take this time to reflect on how terribly awkward he was. As he groaned loudly into his pillow, Bucky could hear Diana laughing in her room.

*

The following morning, Bucky found himself all but being dragged by Diana to Themyscira, the gym run by her mother. While Bucky did enjoy working out, he preferred not doing so at the asscrack of dawn, _or_ at the gym run by the most intimidating woman in New York.

Just as he finished wrapping his hands, he heard someone shouting his name. Bucky grimaced, recognizing the voice immediately.

“Antiope.” Straightening his posture, Bucky did his best to put on a brave face, then turned to greet her.

“Good to see you again.” She clapped him on the shoulder, making him wince. “Where have you been?”

“Um-” Bucky briefly looked around the room, hoping Diana would come rescue him. He held back a scowl when he spotted her smirking at him from across the gym. “Just work, then home. Repeat ad nauseam.” 

“You need to stop by more often or you’re going to lose all the work you’ve done,” Antiope asserted, then quickly dropped low and spun around, kicking Bucky’s legs out from under him. “Just like that,” she explained as she stood up again.

“ _Oof!_ ” Bucky groaned, rubbing the back of his head. When he looked up, Antiope was already walking away, shaking her head.

“C’mon, Bucky, “ Diana shouted, “get off your ass!” 

Bucky frowned at her but stood and headed her way, accepting the gloves she handed him. “Thanks,” He mumbled.

The next fifteen minutes were spent warming up, doing stretches, and practicing breathing techniques; the entire time Diana was grinning mischievously at Bucky.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” He finally asked, frustrated, following her to the punching bags.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Diana began bouncing around the bag, throwing jabs and crosshooks at it. Bucky frowned but followed suit on the bag beside her. A moment later she went on. “ _So_ …”

“Ah, here we go,” Bucky sighed, giving a roundhouse kick before stopping to look at her.

“Why’d you decide to come with me today?” She didn’t stop or even slow her movements.

Bucky lifted an eyebrow at her. “Because I like working out.” 

“Yeah, but not _this_ early.” Diana rolled her eyes at him.

“What are you getting at?” Bucky gave a series of jabs and lead hooks.

“Could it be because you’re seeing Steve tomorrow?” 

Bucky faltered, frowning at her. “ _No_.”

“You think you can lie to me?” Diana’s eyes bore into him..

“I just-” Bucky squirmed in place. “So what?”

Diana beamed before resuming her assault on the bag. “I’m happy for you.”

“What?” He asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

“Bucky, you _like_ him!” She exclaimed.

“We’ve been over this, Diana. _Everyone_ likes him.” Bucky knew he sounded defensive and he tried to cover it by half-heartedly kicking his bag.

“Yes, but not everyone _knows_ him.” She gave him a knowing look. “They like Captain America, sure, but _you_ like _Steve Rogers_.”

Bucky froze in place, taking in her words. “We’ve only talked a few times,” He started slowly. “It’s just a crush. It’s not like we’re going to start dating or something.”

Stopping again, Diana frowned at him. “Bucky, Steve has the means to hire the best professional dance instructor in New York, yet he decided to practice with you, in your apartment.”

“He’s just being nice.”

Diana huffed and slapped Bucky in the face with her glove. “You’re a good catch, Bucky, a good _man_. Steve is lucky to have your affections.” 

Rubbing the side of his face, Bucky’s retort was cut off.

“Barnes!” Antiope shouted and at the sudden look of fear in his eyes, Diana giggled. “Quit screwing around. This is a gym, a place to work out, not chit chat.”

“Sorry, it won’t happen again.” Bucky replied, doubling down on his jabs and kicks.

*

As Bucky trudged his way out of the elevator, heading back to his apartment, he groaned when he spotted Barry sitting in front of his door.

“What are you doing here, Barry?” Bucky asked, watching as he jumped to his feet in a flash.

“Um, is Diana home?” He asked excitedly, seemingly unable to stand still.

“No, she went out to lunch with her mom.” Pulling his keys out of his pocket, Bucky unlocked the door and walked in, dropping his gym bag carelessly onto the floor.

“Oh, do you know when she’ll be back?” Barry bounced on the heels of his feet, smiling brightly.

“Nope. Why don’t you just text her?” Bucky walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge and guzzling it down. When he turned around, he nearly yelped, seeing Barry standing directly in front of him.

“I lost my phone while I was out running last night.”

Bucky huffed out a laugh. “That’s like, the third phone you’ve lost this year.”

“Fourth, actually, but yeah…” Barry’s smile waned and suddenly Bucky felt bad for being so grumpy toward him.

“Listen, you can just tell me what it is you wanted to tell her? I’ll let her know as soon as she gets home. Okay?”

Barry grinned and nodded. “I just wanted to let her know there’s a new schedule for the volunteers at the children’s hospital.” He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket, handing it to Bucky. “We can still go together on Wednesdays but there’s a time change for Monday and I don’t know if she’ll be able to make it.”

Bucky glanced at the paper for a moment. “Alright, I’ll give this to her when she gets home. She’ll get ahold of you… somehow.”

“I can stop by tomorrow,” Barry suggested.

Bucky’s eyes widened. Steve would be over tomorrow and Bucky absolutely did not want to see Barry interacting with him. That was just a disaster waiting to happen. He’d already been banned from Stark Towers after interacting with Tony Stark for a grand total of forty seconds.

“No, no that’s okay,” Bucky rushed to say. “Diana will be at Selina’s place tomorrow, you can meet her there.”

“Great! Thanks, Bucky!” Without waiting, Barry sped out of the apartment, leaving the door open behind him. With a huff, Bucky went to the door and closed it before heading to the bathroom for a badly needed shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the continued love and support, you guys keeping me going <3


	4. Don't Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward flirting. Dancing. Pesky roommate shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit over 4k, so I hope you enjoy it!

“ _Bucky!_ ” Diana’s voice had Bucky bolting upright in his bed. There was a knock on his door, and she slowly opened it. “Bucky, I’m leaving in like, fifteen minutes. Are you ever getting up?”

“Huh?” Bucky reached blindly for his phone, knocking it off his nightstand.

Huffing out in annoyance, Diana walked in and grabbed Bucky’s phone, handing it to him. “It’s quarter to nine. You better get yourself dolled up, because you are not pretty in the mornings, hon.”

“Gee, thanks,” He muttered as she waltzed out of his room. He quickly climbed out of bed and darted to the bathroom to brush his hair and teeth.

After eating two pieces of toast, Bucky then rushed back to his bedroom and began rummaging through his closet. What was the appropriate attire for teaching someone how to dance in your apartment at nine in the morning? He pulled out a pair of relaxed fit jeans, resisting the urge to wear his skinny pair, and frantically pulled out shirt after shirt. Bucky glanced at his phone, and grimaced when he saw that it was 8:59am. Finding a top to wear had never felt like such a challenge in his life, and he could feel his brow start to perspire more and more with every rejected shirt. 

When Bucky heard a knocking on the door, at exactly 9:01, all thoughts evacuated his mind and he ran to answer it. Swinging the door open, Steve’s bright smile quickly morphed into an expression of shock, his mouth gaped open and his eyebrows shot up. Bucky then realized he’d left his shirt in his bedroom and self consciously wrapped his arms around his torso. Steve’s eyes seemed to follow the movement but then quickly looked away.

“You look good out of your scrubs.” Steve blushed intensely and Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise. “I- I mean, you look-” Groaning in embarrassment, Steve covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, can I start over?”

Barking out a laugh, Bucky nodded. “Yeah, let me go put a shirt on first.” 

“Right, yeah.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck and gave a shy smile, looking up from under his ridiculously long eyelashes. “That’s probably for the best.”

Bucky stared dumbly for a moment, feeling his face heat up, before he turned on his heel and ran to the bedroom, pulling on the first top in sight. Upon returning, Steve burst out laughing, halting Bucky in his tracks. “What?” 

“Your-” Steve threw his head back, nearly howling in amusement. “Your shirt.”

Looking down at himself, Bucky realized he was wearing his _dost thou even hoist_ tee shirt. He couldn’t hold back the snort that came out of him and immediately felt mortified by it, but Steve only grinned. 

“Yeah, my sister thought it was hilarious, too,” Bucky huffed, playfully.

“Really? I feel like that question is rather redundant, you clearly _dost_.” Steve was fighting back his laughter now.

Running his fingers through his hair, Bucky smirked. “When she gave it to me, I was, what she called, _a total twink_ , and she thought it was-” Bucky clapped his hand to his mouth, eyes widening as his entire face began burning in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s okay, Bucky.” Steve put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and he found it firm but gentle. “I’m not as naive and innocent as SHIELD likes to think.” After giving a light squeeze, Steve dropped his arm to his side, though Bucky missed it immediately. “Pretty sure I was considered a _twink_ before I got the serum.”

Bucky didn’t have the nerve to tell Steve that the term was meant to describe gay men, not just skinny people in general, so instead, he simply smiled and nodded. “Right.”

“Would it be too much trouble to ask for some water?” Steve asked, following a long, drawn out silence. 

“Yeah- I mean, no,” Bucky stuttered, “I can get you some water, no problem. Would you like anything else?” As he headed to the kitchen, he was surprised to find that Steve was following him.

“Um…” He looked around hesitantly and Bucky nudged him.

“It’s fine, if you want something to eat. I had a pretty light breakfast, I could go for a smoothie.” Bucky began pulling out his blender before Steve could answer. “What do you want in yours?” When Steve didn’t move, Bucky looked at him. “Just grab whatever you like out of the fridge, except the papaya, that’s my roommate’s.”

Finally, Steve opened the fridge, staring for a moment, then took out a handful of fruit. “I’m not really sure what goes into making a smoothie.” 

“No problem, I can show you. Then you can make your own at home.” Bucky gave an encouraging smile. “I use a chocolate protein powder, does that sound okay to you?”

“Yeah, of course.” Steve popped a blueberry into his mouth. “Do you need anything else out of here?”

“Almond milk, please.” Bucky began cutting up a couple of bananas, tossing them into the blender, before slicing up some strawberries. 

“Bruce once gave me a smoothie with peanut butter in it…” Steve trailed off, looking self conscious as he averted his gaze.

“I love peanut butter.” Bucky pulled a jar from the cabinet, handing it to Steve. “We should add some.”

Grinning, Steve nodded and accepted the jar. “Thanks.”

“You _are_ allowed to ask for things, you know that, right?” 

“W-what?” Steve looked like he’d just been told he could fly, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

“Things,” Bucky reiterated, “you’re allowed to ask for them.” He tossed a blueberry toward Steve’s gaping mouth, but missed and hit his cheek, leaving a blue stain behind.

“Hey!” Steve laughed, and Bucky felt his stomach swoop at the sight. “Yes, I know. I just… it feels weird to ask for things when I already have so much. Especially from strangers.”

Bucky tilted his head, watching Steve’s cheeks turn pink. “I hope I’m more than a stranger. I mean, you _did_ accept private dance lessons from me.” Without thinking, he leaned forward and wiped away the blue juice on Steve’s cheek, licking it off of his finger. As soon as his tongue hit his finger, Bucky realized what he’d just done. He froze.

“Um,” Steve’s voice sounded deeper than usual and Bucky momentarily feared he’d offended him. But then he touched his cheek and gave a sly smirk. “Thanks, I’ve always been pretty messy.” After the briefest of pauses, he added, “With food.”

“Right,” Bucky breathed, nearly _wheezed_.

“I don’t consider you a stranger, I didn’t mean it like that.” Steve ran his fingers through his hair. “I like to think of you as a friend.”

“Of course,” Bucky reassured, briefly patting the side of Steve’s arm. “I enjoy your company. I hope to have more of it in the future.”

Once the smoothies were finished, Bucky led Steve to the kitchen table and sat opposite of him. Steve took a sip of his drink and moaned, quite graphically. “Oh my God, Bucky, this is so good!”

Feeling his stomach flip at the noises he just heard, Bucky looked down at his glass. “I’m glad you like it.”

“They never taste this good when I buy them.” Steve lifted an eyebrow and leaned in. “What’s your secret?”

Bucky chuckled. “Diana gets all of our fruits and veggies from the farmers market. She refuses to buy them from the grocery store.”

Steve’s smile faltered for the briefest of moments, puzzling Bucky. “Is…” He cleared his throat. “Is Diana your girlfriend?”

“ _What?_ ” Bucky squawked. “Diana’s my roommate. I told you before, I- I’m gay. I don’t date women.” Steve seemed to be avoiding Bucky’s gaze, and Bucky furrowed his brows. “Does that bother you?”

“Huh?” Steve seemed started by the question.

“Me, being gay. Does that bother you?” Bucky schooled his expression best he could, trying to mask his sudden anxiety.

“Of course not, no. Not at all.” With his cheeks burning red, Steve finally looked Bucky in the eyes. “I’m actually- I…”

“What?”

After a long pause, Steve shook his head. “Nothing.” He sighed. “I have no problem with it. People should be allowed to love whoever they want without repercussions.”

“I agree.” Bucky gave a small smile, and took a drink of his smoothie. They sat in silence, sipping their drinks, and Bucky worried he’d made things awkward for Steve. He knew he should- “ _Ow!”_ He groaned, grabbing his forehead.

Steve’s eyes widened, and he reached out for Bucky, holding onto his bicep. “Bucky? What is it? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He grimaced. “Brain freeze. I’ll be fine.” 

Sagging in relief, Steve dropped his hand away, and chuckled lightly. “Geeze, I thought you were having an aneurysm or something. Scared the shit out of me.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped, before he burst out laughing. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. I guess I’m kind of always expecting the worst.” Steve gave a lopsided smile.

“Well, no need to feel that way around me.” Bucky crinkled up his nose as he grinned. “You only need to expect the best with me.” Snorting at his bad joke, Bucky watched Steve’s face blush.

“Yeah, I’m learning that.” He spoke slowly, but kept eye contact with Bucky.

Bucky coughed into his fist, trying to hide the war of emotions he felt suddenly rushing through his mind, and undoubtedly across his face. “Oh, well… I just- I mean, I’m not…” Bucky found himself sputtering, suddenly unable to form a coherent sentence.

Steve’s expression was unreadable as he reached out again, taking Bucky’s hand in his own. “You make me feel like _me_ more than anyone else, and I really like that. You’re a good guy, don’t let anyone tell you different.”

Bucky could feel his face heating up, and he was fairly certain that he was going to spontaneously combust. He gave Steve’s hand a small squeeze and then quickly stood, taking his glass to the kitchen. “I’m gonna get some music set up, did you have a preference?”

“Whatever you like,” Steve mumbled, and Bucky turned to see him still sitting at the table, looking dejected.

Bucky cursed at himself, and approached Steve, extending his hand. “C’mon, let’s see if you’re as bad as Peggy says.”

Steve gave a shy smile, but took Bucky’s hand, allowing him to lead them to the living room.

*

“Oh my God, you really are bad at this.” Bucky leaned against the arm of the sofa, rubbing his toe and wincing. “Poor Peggy.”

“I’m really sorry, I should have taken my shoes off.” Steve was blushing right up to the tips of his ears, and Bucky couldn’t help but find it endearing.

“It’s fine, I’ve got nine others, I’ll be fine,” He chuckled, returning to his phone to turn the music back on. Steve kicked off his shoes and, looking unsure, returned to Bucky. “It’s okay, I wasn’t good at my first lesson either.”

“You took lessons?” Steve tilted his head curiously.

“Yeah, I had a lot of energy, but hated sports.” Bucky got back into position, gently leading Steve as a new song began playing. “Rebecca, my sister, was in dance class, and my folks figured it would be a good outlet for me.” 

“That must’ve been fun,” Steve said quietly, as if keeping his voice low would help him concentrate better.

“It was, at first, but I stopped after a year.”

Steve scrunched up his nose in surprise, and Bucky had the unexpected urge to kiss it. “Why?”

“I got bullied for it, was called a lot of derogatory names. It really fucked with my self esteem.” Looking down at his feet, Bucky bit his lip, remembering how painful that time in his life had been.

“I’m so sorry you went through that, Buck. 

“Thanks.” He tried to plaster a smile to his face, but knew it looked as fake as it felt. “At least in that year I learned a decent amount of dance moves.”

“What other moves do you know?” Steve asked, grinning. “I heard twerking was real hip, not sure I really know what it is, though.”

Bucky huffed out a laugh, feeling his smile grow. “Twerking is… beyond me. It’s basically just bouncing your ass up and down.”

“And you can’t do that?” Steve’s grin turned devious and Bucky absolutely loved it.

“I _can_ , I just choose not to. To spare my dignity.” 

Steve laughed and Bucky saw the joy on his face, and it felt like sunshine. He wanted to have moments like this with Steve for a long time to come, even if he knew that was an impractical dream.

The sound of Elvis Presley’s voice filled the room, singing _Can’t Help Falling in Love_ , and Steve smiled shyly, slowing his steps.

“I love this song,” He whispered, like he was sharing a closely held secret.

“Yeah?” Bucky smiled. “Me too.”

“It’s really…” Steve’s eyes met Bucky’s and he seemed to blush. “ _Beautiful,_ ” He breathed.

When Bucky felt his own cheeks heating up, he looked away for a moment, before facing Steve’s intense gaze. “It is. _Beautiful_.” And in that moment, Bucky knew he was gone on Steve Rogers, he could feel it in his heart. He was falling for him at supersonic speed, and it both thrilled and terrified him.

*

After several more songs, Bucky decided to take a short break, grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and joining Steve back at the kitchen table. “I think you’re already improving, you’re only stepping on my feet like, fifty percent of the time instead of seventy-five percent.” 

“I never got much practice.” Steve laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

“That’s unfortunate, especially with someone as incredible as Peggy being your girl.” Bucky forced himself to smile, despite how uncomfortable he felt.

“Oh.” Looking down at his feet, Steve cleared his throat. “Me and Peg… that was never in the cards for me.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “But all the stories-”

“They’ve all been twisted and polished.” Steve frowned, looking genuinely upset. “Most of the things about me that aren’t... _pretty_ , are left out of the history books and articles.”

“Life is rarely pretty.” Bucky hesitantly took Steve’s hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s the ugly that makes us who we are.”

Steve looked down at their joined hands, a pensive expression on his face as he bit his bottom lip, but then he slowly pulled his hand out of Bucky’s. “I’m not allowed to be that man.”

Feeling his heart breaking in his chest, Bucky wanted nothing more than to dismantle SHIELD and anyone else that had ever instilled this into Steve.

Suddenly, Steve was pushing his chair back and standing. “I should get going,” He said morosely, heading to the door.

Bucky quickly followed, unsure of what he should say. He desperately wanted Steve to stay, if not to dance than to just sit and talk; or anything else he wanted. He didn’t want Steve to go back to Stark Tower, back to the people that made him feel like he was nothing more than a title, instead a person with his own thoughts and feelings. A person that felt trapped by his past.

“Stay,” He blurted out, only sounding slightly frantic. Steve turned and looked at him, his brow furrowed.

“Why?” The corner of Steve’s mouth quirked downward, giving him the look of someone expecting bad news.

“Because I like hanging out with you.” Bucky watched Steve’s face, but was unable to read the change in his expression. “I mean, if you want to go, that’s… fine, but I’d like you to stay if you can.”

Steve looked at the door, then back to Bucky. “I… If you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.” Bucky beamed and Steve gave a small nod. “Great! Is there anything in particular you’d like to do?” He grabbed Steve’s hand again and began leading him away from the door. “More dancing? Or just watch TV? I have a couple of puzzles and board games, because, as Diana says, I’m like a hundred year old man.” 

Laughing, Steve looked around the apartment before finally addressing Bucky. “Do you like to cook?”

“I do, but I’m really terrible at it. Do you?”

“I do.” Steve smiled shyly. “I can show you a few things.” Suddenly his face reddened. “Recipes, of course. I can repay you for the food.”

Bucky snickered at the unintended innuendo, but shook his head. “You don’t have to pay for anything. I’d love it if you could show me a thing or two.” He gave a sarcastic smirk. “Recipes, of course.”

*

“Bucky, I’m home!” Diana’s voice startled Bucky, causing him to drop an egg on the floor. “What’s that good smell? Did you-” Diana stopped, looking at Bucky and Steve before lifting an eyebrow with devilish intent. “Hi.”

“Um.” Bucky looked at the clock on the oven and was shocked to see that it was 4pm. “I didn’t realize how late it was.” He turned to Steve, who looked like a kid that was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Being the respectful, levelheaded woman that Diana was, she extended her hand to Steve. “Hi, I’m Diana, Bucky’s roommate. You must be Steve.”

“Hello,” Steve answered, his voice turning back to that practiced, mechanical tone he used in front of the cameras and strangers. “I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“What’d you guys make?” Diana asked, excitedly looking at the array of dishes that now covered the counters.

“Sorry for the mess, ma’am.” Steve blushed. “I intended to have it all cleaned up before you returned. Like Buck said, the time just got away from us.”

“It’s fine, Steve.” She smiled softly at Steve. “I’m just curious about what you made. Bucky can’t even boil water, and it smells amazing in here.”

Bucky couldn’t help smiling brightly up at Steve. “He taught me a bunch of recipes. We made green bean casserole, lasagna, and blueberry pie.”

Diana’s jaw dropped.

“I hope those are dishes you like, Bucky told me they were.” Steve fidgeted slightly, so Bucky leaned into his side, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

“That sounds incredible, I love all of those.” Diana eyed Bucky, giving him a look that he knew meant they were having _a talk_ later. Looking at Steve again, she spoke, “I hope you’re staying for dinner.”

Steve gaped, but quickly snapped his mouth shut. “Um, I- I… I mean-”

“You’re more than welcome to, I’d hate to see you not even enjoy your own creations.” Diana pulled her phone out, quickly shooting off a text before walking past Steve and Bucky. She opened the cupboards and began pulling out plates. “I’ll set the table, you two bring the food over.” Bucky wasn’t sure if he hated or loved Diana for this impromptu group dinner. He was leaning toward loving it, until he heard a knock on the door. “Can you get that, Bucky?”

Bucky furrowed his brows at her, but went to answer the door. Opening it slowly, he was stunned to see Arthur Currey standing there, a cheshire grin on his face. “Hey, Bucky.”

“Arthur.” Bucky gaped. “What are you doing here?” Arthur nearly barreled past him, walking through the doorway.

“Diana invited me to dinner,” He answered over his broad shoulders.

Bucky quickly followed after him to the kitchen, where Diana was pouring water for Steve. He quickly noticed a _fourth_ place setting and frowned. “ _Diana_ ,” He spoke sharply, but she only winked at him in response.

Steve stood from his chair and approached them, Bucky couldn’t help notice the crease between his eyes, clearly feeling cautious. Regardless, he shook Arthur’s hand. “Hi there, I’m Steve. Diana just told me a neighbor was having dinner here tonight. I hope I’m not imposing.”

“Not at all, any friend of Bucky’s is a friend of mine.” Arthur patted Steve on the shoulder before taking a seat at the table.

“You live a block away, not exactly a neighbor,” Bucky mumbled, sitting beside Steve. “How’d you even get here so fast?” But Arthur didn’t answer. 

Everyone began scooping food onto their plates and digging in. Upon putting a bite of lasagna in his mouth, Bucky couldn’t help but moan at how delicious it was. He’d never made anything that tasted even close to this good.

“This is amazing, Steve!” Diana crooned, taking a sip of water to wash down her own bite of food. 

Blushing, Steve ducked his head slightly. “Thank you, but I only helped, Bucky did most of the work.”

Before Bucky could argue, Arthur spoke up. “Is that so? You never cook like this for me, Bucky! I feel cheated.”

Bucky shot a look at Steve and saw that his jaw was clenched tightly. Ignoring the latter comment, Bucky replied, “Steve’s just being humble. This is mostly his doing.”

Arthur hummed, chewing a mouthful of green bean casserole, then placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I tried to help you in the kitchen once, but it was futile.”

“You were…” Bucky coughed into his fist, feeling thoroughly uncomfortable. “Too easily distracted. Made me burn fish sticks, of all things.”

“Couldn’t help myself, you’re very distracting.” Arthur winked, pulling his hand away to continue eating. When Bucky looked at Steve, his skin was splotchy red and he was looking at his plate as if it had just offended his mother. 

“I’m disappointed that neither of you have told me about this!” Diana playfully slapped Arthur’s shoulder. 

Bucky huffed, turning to Steve, quickly changing the topic. “How’s the lasagna?”

Steve was now shoveling food into his mouth, emptying his plate in, what felt like, the blink of an eye. “It’s really good. You did great, Bucky.” When he turned to face Bucky, his lips were pressed into a tight lipped smile. “May I use your bathroom?”

“Of course, it’s down the hall, to the left.” Bucky pointed in the direction and Steve stood abruptly, leaving the table. Once he heard the bathroom door close, Bucky turned on Arthur and Diana. “What the actual fuck?” But the two of them only shrugged and smiled. “You need to stop, Arthur, can’t you see how uncomfortable you’re making Steve?”

“That isn’t what I’d call it,” Arthur replied with a wink. 

When Steve finally returned, he sat down, looking decidedly more relaxed. He filled his plate again, then turned to Arthur. “Did Bucky tell you he’s giving me dancing lessons?”

“He did not.” The corner of Arthur’s mouth ticked upward.

“He’s a great teacher.” Steve beamed at him, and Bucky nearly jumped when he felt Steve’s foot nudge his own.

“I-I…” Bucky stuttered, “Well, you’re also a good teacher, you taught me a lot in the kitchen today.”

“You two got a quid pro quo type of thing going on?” Arthur asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

When Bucky looked at Steve, his face was fire engine red. “Of course not, helping each other is what friends do.” Bucky glared at Arthur.

“I wish my friends would teach me to dance, and cook this well,” He hummed in return. “Almost like you’re playing house or something.”

Bucky was ready to reach over and slap Arthur, when he felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder, giving a firm squeeze. “Whoever Bucky chooses to have a home with is a lucky person.”

“Steve-” Bucky turned to face him, and saw that Steve’s smile, while genuine, didn’t quite reach his eyes. Swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat, Bucky nudged Steve’s foot. “Same to you.”

“Awww!” Diana clutched her hands to her chest. “You two are so sweet.”

“Yeah, I think I’m getting diabetes over here.” Arthur chuckled, but the air between Steve and Bucky suddenly felt charged. Bucky wasn’t sure what that meant, but it was making his heart race.

*

By the time everyone had finished eating, it was nearing 5pm, and after helping to clear the table, Steve announced he had to head home.

“Mind if I walk you downstairs?” Bucky asked, desperately wanting to know that Steve was okay after the minefield that had been their dinner.

“Yeah, sure.” Steve said his goodbyes to Diana and Arthur before heading out the door with Bucky.

When they reached Steve’s motorcycle, Bucky had to hold back a groan; just imagining Steve riding it was enough to get his blood pumping. Shaking the inappropriate thoughts out, for the time being, Bucky faced him. “I’m really sorry about Arthur, I had no idea he was going to show up.”

“Are… are you two dating?” Steve asked hesitantly.

“No!” Bucky nearly shouted, startling Steve. “I mean, no, definitely not. We dated briefly _years_ ago, but it was never serious. We’re just friends now.” Steve visibly relaxed, and Bucky couldn’t help wondering if he was _jealous_.

“Okay, good.” Steve’s eyes widened almost comically. “I mean, it wouldn’t be bad if you were, I just- I-”

“It’s okay, Steve. Relax,” Bucky laughed, touching Steve’s bicep. “It is good. I have better options nowadays, I think.”

Steve bit his bottom lip and Bucky coughed slightly to cover up the whimper that escaped him at the sight. Once he’d climbed onto his bike and started it up, Steve gave an uncharacteristically cocksure grin. “You definitely do,” He shouted to be heard over the engine, and with a playful wink, Steve drove off.


	5. My Thoughts on You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A good day goes horribly wrong

“Guess who I just happened to bump into today?” Diana had a bright smile on her face as she sat beside Bucky in the break room, two days later.

“Uh, who?” Bucky asked, taking a bite of his granola bar.

“Your _pal_ , Steve.”

Bucky’s eyes widened but he quickly schooled his expression. “Yeah? When?”

“He visited Peggy while you were doing your neverending stack of papers. I was going to get you but he said he couldn’t stay long.” Diana propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands.

“Oh,” Bucky hummed, actively avoiding Diana’s eyes. She had a way of making people spill their every secret, and Bucky certainly wasn’t immune to it. 

“Don’t try and play coy with me!” Diana laughed. “You wanna know what he said, or not?”

“Fine,” Bucky huffed. “What did he say?”

“He’s quite the gentleman, as you know. He stood up right away, shaking my hand and asking how I was.” She batted her eyelashes dramatically and sighed wistfully. “He asked if I was a CNA, and I told him I was a social worker, but that the CNAs are the unsung heroes of the facility.”

Bucky ducked his head and blushed. “Diana-”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Diana cut him off with a playful eye roll. “Steve went on and on about how amazing and wonderful you are.”

“Stop.” Bucky rubbed his hands over his face. “He did not.”

“I do believe his exact words were, _Bucky is incredibly kind and dedicated, truly a good man_.” Diana gave a knowing grin and Bucky could feel his ears burning.

“Really?” He asked shyly.

“Oh, Bucky.” She reached over and took his hand. “It’s obvious you’ve left a good impression on him. He was quite excited when I mentioned you were looking forward to your next dance lesson.”

Bucky furrowed his brow. “Why?”

“Because you excite him.”

“What does _that_ mean?” He asked, still confused.

Diana took the last bite of Bucky’s granola bar before standing. “Ask him yourself.” She kissed him on the top of his head and walked out, humming happily.

*

The next day, Bucky found himself dragging his feet to the break room, actually looking forward to the burnt coffee awaiting him. Right as he was about to pour himself a cup, Louis came sprinting into the room, shouting his name. Bucky nearly dropped his mug.

“Jesus, Louis!” He put his cup down and frowned at his coworker. “What is it? I’m on break, I can’t help you with Marianne again.”

Louis had his trademark mischievous smile plastered to his face. “Someone’s here to see you.” 

Before he could ask who, Louis left the room, whistling _God Bless America_ loudly. Bucky rolled his eyes, but headed to the front desk. He couldn’t hide the look of surprise on his face when he spotted Steve standing there, grinning brightly at him.

“Steve, what are you doing here?” Bucky cringed, realizing what a ridiculous question that was. Steve came to visit Peggy every couple of days… but then why had he asked for Bucky?

“Um, I wanted to know if you were doing anything for lunch?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, and Bucky could see a blush spreading across his cheeks. 

“No, no plans.” Bucky stared at Steve, his stomach filling with butterflies.

“If… if you’d like, I could take you to the cafe down the street? They have coffee that isn’t burnt.” A shy smile appeared on his face, and Bucky couldn’t have said no if his life depended on it.

“You remembered the coffee’s burnt?” 

Steve tapped a finger to his temple. “I remember everything.” 

“I’ll have to be careful about telling you embarrassing stories.” Bucky chuckled. “I’d love to go to lunch with you, thanks.”

“Great!” Steve beamed, approaching Bucky and putting an arm around his shoulders.

Once they reached the sidewalk, Steve dropped his arm aways and Bucky felt a pang in his heart. He reminded himself that Steve was his friend, his _straight_ friend. He was also an Avenger and he could have anyone. In fact, who was to say that Steve wasn’t _already_ seeing someone? Bucky wasn’t entitled to that information, but it ate at him until he couldn’t hold back any longer. 

“You didn’t have anyone better to take to lunch?” He asked, trying to be as casual as possible.

“Like who?” Steve looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know, like a girlfriend or something, I guess.” Bucky shrugged, but could feel his shoulders tensing up as he awaited an answer.

After a long pause, Steve shrugged in return. “No.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Bucky wasn’t sure what to make of it, but he didn’t want to push the topic any further if it was making Steve uncomfortable. 

As they entered the small, but busy cafe, they got in line together, and Bucky looked over the menu behind the counter. “Have you been here before?” He asked, glancing at Steve.

“Yeah, been here a few times. They have great pastries.” Steve scanned the room then, eyes landing on an open table. “Why don’t you go grab us that table. I can order for you.”

“Sure, uh, I’ll take slice of the peach cobbler, and -”

“An iced caramel macchiato.” Steve finished for him and Bucky could only huff out a laugh.

“Right, that.” He bumped his shoulder against Steve’s and headed to sit at the now only open table available. 

Bucky looked around the room, taking in the decor and fellow patrons, and quickly noticed a fair number of women were staring at Steve. A few men glanced his way, but for the most part, it was women. Bucky desperately fought back the jealousy growing inside of him, but it only simmered out when he told himself that he had no place feeling that way. Steve deserved to be happy and if that meant with a handful of women, there was nothing he could do to change that. He needed to be a supportive friend, not some jealous, lovesick fool, trying to hold Steve back.

“Here you go.” Steve set down a tray in front of him, startling Bucky out of his morose thoughts.

“Thanks,” Bucky answered, trying not to look as gloomy as he suddenly felt.

After sitting down, Steve looked at him with an intense gaze. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” He looked around the room, as though looking for a fight.

“No, I’m fine.” Bucky reached for his macchiato and took a long drink. “Just need some caffeine.” 

Steve furrowed his brows but it was gone in a split second, replaced with a soft smile. “Okay. Here’s your cobbler.”

Bucky accepted the plate, already feeling better at the sight of the dessert in front of him. “Thanks, this looks delicious.”

“It is!” 

“You’ve had it before?” Bucky quickly took an excessively large bite, moaning in delight at the taste.

Steve laughed at Bucky’s dramatic antics. “Yeah, I’ve pretty much tried everything here at least once. Except the cinnamon raisin loaf, because raisins are an atrocity to mankind.” He said it so seriously that Bucky couldn’t hold back the howl of laughter that burst out of him, nearly choking on his cobbler. “They are!” Steve insisted.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Bucky nodded, trying to collect himself after his outburst. “They’re terrible, I just never heard them referred to as _an atrocity to mankind_.”

“I just call it like I see it.” He grinned, taking a bite of his own food, some kind of chocolate concoction. When he saw Bucky staring at it, he held out a forkful. “Want some?”

Hesitating, Bucky’s eyes shot around the room nervously, worried that someone could take the gesture as something more than friendly. Looking back at Steve’s face and seeing it slowly falling, Bucky leaned in and accepted the treat, eyes widening as his taste buds danced in pleasure. “Oh my God, this is the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

Steve threw his head back, grabbed his left pec, and laughed until he was red in the face. It turned out to be contagious, because Bucky quickly followed suit, laughing until tears were streaming down his face and his stomach hurt. 

“Excuse me,” A petite woman interrupted, batting her eyes at Steve. It sobered both men immediately.

“Yes?” Steve coughed, clearing his throat and quickly turning on his Captain America persona. It was almost eerie to watch.

“My name’s Belinda, would you mind taking a picture with me?” She asked, with an irritating giggle.

Without hesitating, Steve stood. “Of course, Belinda.” He stood beside her, but their extreme height difference made taking a selfie difficult for the woman.

“Here.” Bucky held out his hand and got out of his chair. “I can take it for you.”

Belinda looked at him warily, but handed her phone over. She pursed her lips and gave a peace sign, while Steve put his arm around her shoulders, though, not making actual physical contact, and smiled. Bucky took several shots, then handed the phone back.

“Thank you so much.” Belinda gave an overtly seductive smile, licking her top lip with the tip of her tongue before biting the lower. She held out her hand, and Steve shook it. “It was a _pleasure_ to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well, have a good day.” Steve replied, sitting down once they were alone again. He placed a piece of paper on the table, something Belinda had obviously slipped him. Bucky could see that she’d written her number on it.

Taking another long drink of his coffee, Bucky began feeling so many different things he couldn’t even identify them all. He only knew that none of them were good. Steve took a bite of his food, then looked at Bucky. “Captain America is always popular around here.”

“Then why do you even come here?” Bucky asked, trying to hold back the bitterness he felt creeping over his tongue.

Steve only shrugged, taking another bite. “I like the food.”

“Right.” He looked down at his watch, and even though he still had a half an hour left on his lunch break, Bucky got up from the table. “I’ve gotta get back to work. Thanks for lunch.” Steve called after him, but Bucky was already out the door, resisting the urge to run.

“Bucky!” Steve caught up with him, gently grabbing his wrist. “What’s going on? Did I do something?”

Taking a deep breath, Bucky turned to face him, feeling his stomach drop when he saw the look of hurt on Steve’s face. “No,” He rushed out, but was unsure of how to answer beyond that.

“I’m sorry if I did something to upset you, I would never intentionally-”

“Stop,” Bucky blurted out, feeling overwhelmed by his emotions. He wanted to cry, or scream, or just run. He knew it was too late for him, he’d already developed feelings for Steve. Feelings that would break his heart and push Steve away. Maybe it was best to just get it over with now, before it got any worse.

“Buck?”

Sighing, Bucky looked into Steve’s eyes then. “It was that girl.” He hesitated a moment before pushing on. “I- I was jealous. I’m sorry I acted like that, it was rude and-”

“Jealous?” Steve raised his eyebrows. “I don’t understand. Jealous of what?”

“I’m not even sure.” Bucky shook his head. “I guess that she had your attention, that she… she has a chance with you, and I don’t.”

“Bucky, that’s not-” 

Out of nowhere, a black town car screeched to a stop beside them, and as the heavily tinted window in the back seat began rolling down, Bucky watched as Steve’s face morphed into a tight lipped expression.

“Capsicle!” Tony Stark all but shouted, grinning at Steve’s exasperated eye roll. 

“Tony, did you need something? Or is this just me in the wrong place at the wrong time?” Steve crossed his arms and the defensive posture, along with the stealy tone of his voice, had Bucky shocked. This was a side of Steve he’d never seen before.

“Aww, don’t be like that.” Tony got out of the car and immediately eyed Bucky. “No autographs right now, get lost.”

Steve’s face flushed red in rage, his fists suddenly clenched at his sides. “ _Tony,_ ” He barked, causing both Bucky _and_ Tony to jump. “This is my friend.”

Tony squinted his eyes, looking between the two of them. “Your friend, huh?” Putting his hands on his hips, he turned to Bucky. “Why haven’t I heard of you before?”

Bucky’s chest tightened painfully; _Steve hadn’t told anyone about him._ A million reasons why swirled through his head but each one only brought him closer to tears.

“You aren’t entitled to know about everything and _everyone_ in my life, I have-”

“Wait a second,” Tony interrupted, glaring at Bucky again, before turning to Steve. “You were with him last Sunday, weren’t you?”

Feeling completely overwhelmed by the entire situation, Bucky desperately needed to get away. “I have to go back to work now.”

“Bucky…” Steve’s voice was soft, sounding almost desperate. “Can I call you later? After you get off work?”

“Uh,” Bucky hesitated, wondering why in the world Steve would want to talk to him after what he’d told him just minutes before. “Yeah, of course. No problem. Talk to you later.” He rushed out, forcing a smile onto his face. Bucky gave a pathetic wave, and walked away. The sound of Tony hissing something at Steve encouraging him to fasten his pace.

*

Bucky knocked on his boss’ office door. “Claire?”

“Come on in,” She answered, waving him in. When she saw his face, her eyebrows shot up. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, not feeling too hot all of a sudden, was hoping I could go home early. Don’t want to get any of the residents sick if I’ve got something.” Bucky felt awful lying to Claire. She was the best boss he’d ever had but there was no way he could stay at work and actually get anything done. Telling her he was having an emotional meltdown because he’d just told Steve Rogers he had a crush on him, and had to prepare for the inevitable letdown he was going to get later, wouldn’t really fly.

Standing up from her desk, she approached Bucky. “Of course, go home and get some rest. Text me if you’re not feeling better tomorrow, I’ll bring you some of my Nana’s soup.”

“Thanks, Claire.” He gave an appreciative smile and headed home.


	6. Hold On To Things You Cannot Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does the future hold for Bucky's friendship with Steve?

When Bucky finally convinced himself to get out of the shower, an hour later, he threw on his bathrobe and trudged into his bedroom. He crawled into bed, curling himself into a tight ball and fought back the tears threatening to spill over. Bucky had dug his own grave, and now he was about to be buried in it. He certainly couldn’t fault Steve for what was to come, no one wanted a friend pining over them like a lovesick teenager.

By the time 4:30pm rolled around, Bucky hadn’t left his position in bed at all, ignoring the pain from his stiffening joints. The sound of the front door opening and closing surprised him, knowing Diana wasn’t due back for another hour, but he couldn’t muster the energy to care. If it was an axe murderer breaking into the apartment to dismember him, so be it.

“Bucky?” Diana called from outside his room, before slowly peeking her head in. “You okay? Claire told me you went home sick.”

“I’m fine,” He grumbled in response, still not moving.

Diana crawled into bed with him, holding him against her chest. “What happened?”

“I fucked up,” Bucky sniffled, lifting his head to look at her. 

“How so?” She asked, softly.

“I acted like a jealous asshole in front of Steve, then pretty much told him _why_ I was jealous.”

“You told him how you feel? That you like him?” Running her fingers through Bucky’s damp hair, she waited patiently for him to reply. 

“In so many words, yeah.” Bucky felt emotionally drained, but he took comfort in being able to open up with his best friend.

“And what did he say?” 

“Nothing, he didn’t have a chance to,” Bucky huffed. “Fucking Tony Stark rolled up and pretty much told me to get lost.”

Diana sat up slightly. “Do I need to kick Iron Man’s ass?”

Knowing full well that Diana _could_ kick Iron Man’s ass made Bucky smile. “Thanks, but I think you can hold off for now.” He sighed then. “After that I just walked back to work and asked for the rest of the day off.”

“Steve didn’t even say anything to you?” Diana huffed angrily.

“He, uh, actually asked if he could call me after I got off work.” He mumbled.

“Oh, well that’s a good sign,” She chirped, sitting up fully now.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her. “How is that a good sign? He’s going to call and say he isn’t comfortable around me anymore.”

“He could have texted that to you and spared himself any additional awkwardness.” Diana pushed Bucky’s hair out of his face. “The fact that he _asked_ if he could call you tells me he cares about how you feel. He wouldn’t have asked if he wasn’t worried about _you_ not wanting to talk to _him_.”

“But-” Bucky wanted to argue. It was easier to imagine Steve being upset with him, rather than him feeling… any other way. In the end, he simply sighed heavily, annoyed with the whole situation.

“ _But_ nothing, just wait until he calls you before you try to sabotage your feelings.” Diana kissed his forehead before getting up and leaving the room.

*

When 5pm came and went, Bucky sat anxiously on the edge of his bed, awaiting Steve’s call. He found himself checking his clock every five minutes until it was nearly 9pm. _Steve wasn’t going to call_. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut against the tears threatening to spill over. He hated himself for alienating Steve, who already felt that way about most of society. Briefly, he wondered if he should text or call Steve, but in the end, decided against it. Steve was a busy man, who was Bucky to interrupt his life, especially if he chose not to contact Bucky in the first place?

That night, Bucky spent hours tossing and turning in his bed, and when he was finally able to sleep, he was plagued by dreams that left him feeling exhausted when he woke. He found himself being dragged to work by Diana, right after she forced a protein bar into his mouth for breakfast.

“I don’t need you mother henning me, Di,” Bucky grumbled, even though he was incredibly grateful for her.

“You’ve got work to do, the residents need you at your best, not moping around like a scolded puppy.” She parked her car, and turned to face Bucky. “After work you can be as sad as you want. We’ll eat Ben & Jerry’s, and watch Sense and Sensibility. That sound good?”

It _did_ sound good, so Bucky huffed his approval, because he was still allowed to pout until he got out of the car.

*

Entering Peggy’s room that afternoon, Bucky was pleased to see her knitting in her bed. When she looked up, she smiled softly. “James, how nice to see you.”

“Hey, Peggy.” He pulled up a chair beside her. “What are you knitting there?” 

“Oh, just a scarf, can’t do more intricate patterns nowadays.” Peggy put down her needles and yarn. “Steve was here earlier.”

“I hope you enjoyed his visit.” Even though Steve’s visit had been the day before, Bucky didn’t correct her. The look on Peggy’s face, tight lipped and furrowed brows, told him she had something on her mind.

“He’s so lonely, James,” She said, her lips parting slightly, as though deep in thought. 

Bucky tried to hold back the surprise he felt at this admission. “What… what makes you say that?”

“Can’t you tell?” Peggy tilted her head. “He doesn’t say so, but you can see it in his eyes.” She sighed, looking down at her hands. “Steve has been alone for so long.”

“He’s got the other Avengers-” 

“James,” She said sharply, “We both know he needs more than that.”

“I don’t know what you mean, Peggy.” Bucky could feel his stomach churning, afraid of where this was going.

“You have been a good friend to him, probably more so than anyone else has ever been, and he’s incredibly grateful to have you.” Peggy sighed. “You can’t understand the loneliness. But you can help him live with it. Help him feel _more_ than that ceaseless ache in his heart.”

Bucky realized he was bouncing his leg nervously, and forced himself to stop. There was no way he could tell Peggy what had happened, how Bucky had probably ( _most likely_ ) ruined their budding friendship with his irrational jealousy and big mouth. He cleared his throat before finally speaking. “I’m honored to be Steve’s friend, and I’ll continue to-”

“Steve Rogers is a complex man,” Peggy interrupted, “But he wants what every other man wants. _Love_ .” Her mouth slowly turned into a small frown. “After all that he’s been through, all that he’s _still_ going through… he feels just as alone as when he was in the ice.” A tear rolled down her cheek, and with a shaky hand, she wiped it away. “That just doesn’t seem fair.”

“It doesn’t,” Bucky breathed.

The rest of the day Bucky felt like he was running on autopilot. While he didn’t slack off when it came to taking care of the residents, he cared too much about them to ever do that, he knew that he wasn’t his usual cheerful self. When Luis asked him about it, Bucky tried to shrug him off.

“Dude, I’ve known you for five years and I’ve never seen you look so down in the dumps.” Placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, he went on, “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but you know you _can_ , right?”

“I know, Luis.” Bucky gave his friend a small smile. “I’m just… not ready.”

“I get it.” He gave a gentle squeeze and dropped his hand away. “Take care of yourself, man.”

That evening, Bucky curled up on the couch with Diana, each with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and sniffling as Sense and Sensibility played. 

*

When Sunday rolled around, Bucky couldn’t bear to stay in his apartment. All he could think about was how Steve would have been there, dancing with him, if only… Shaking his head, Bucky shut the door behind him and headed to the elevator. He hit the button and waited impatiently for the doors to open, but when they did, he gasped. “ _Steve_?”

Steve stood there, still in his uniform and streaked with dirt, splatters of blood on his face. After a brief moment, he stumbled out and Bucky immediately grabbed onto him, trying to keep him from falling over. Carefully, he led Steve to his apartment, gently sitting him at the kitchen table before retrieving the first aid kit from the bathroom. 

“What happened? Are you okay?” Bucky pulled a chair out to sit in front of him, touching his face, looking for any serious wounds. When he saw none, he used an alcohol pad to clean up the already healing cuts on his cheek and chin. “Steve?”

“I wanted to see you,” Steve answered weakly.

“You couldn’t wait to be seen by a doctor? Or change out of your uniform?” 

Steve looked down at himself, as if he’d forgotten he was, in fact, still wearing his uniform. “No, I couldn’t wait.” 

Bucky was confused, but continued cleaning him up best he could. “Do you need anything?” When he looked into Steve’s eyes, Bucky could see the vulnerability and caution in them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call.” 

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Bucky shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything, Steve, I-”

“I’m gay,” Steve blurted out in a rush, eyes wide and fearful.

Bucky did his best to try and hide the shock at what he’d just heard, as he tried to comprehend the words, but it was a struggle. He sat back in his chair, simply staring at Steve as a tear rolled down his dirt streaked face. “Okay,” Bucky answered slowly, feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

Steve’s hands trembled, his breath seemingly caught in his throat. He kept opening and closing his mouth, struggling to speak. Eventually he mumbled, “Is it?”

Shaking himself, Bucky took Steve’s hands in his own, and looked him in the eyes. “Of course it is. Thank you for telling me.” Then it hit him. “Have… have you ever told anyone else?"

With his cheeks bright red, Steve shook his head. “No, this is the first time I’ve ever said those words out loud.” He leaned back in his seat and sighed. “I mean, a few people have known, but not because I told them.”

“Peggy knows, doesn’t she?” It began dawning on Bucky what their relationship had really been. “She protected you... by letting people think you were together.”

“Yeah, she did.” Steve clenched his jaw. “When I decided to go down with the Valkyrie, I was glad. I wouldn’t be a burden on her anymore and she could find someone that loved her the way she deserves. I was glad I wouldn’t have to hide Steve Rogers anymore. But even now, I’m expected to be _Captain America_ 24/7. Nobody wants Steve Rogers when they can have Cap.”

Bucky felt his eyes welling as he watched Steve squeezing his fists, fighting back tears of his own. “I wouldn’t,” He said, voice full of conviction. “I’d rather have _you_ over any persona.” Steve closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, as if letting Bucky’s words wash over him. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to hide yourself for so long. You are an amazing man. You’re funny, smart, kind, and… just, you’re great. If anyone can’t see that, it’s their loss. You don’t deserve to have to live your life behind Captain America’s shield.”

Steve was staring directly at Bucky, his eyes pensive, and lips slightly parted. His gaze felt piercing and it made Bucky’s breath hitch. “You really think that?”

“Of course I do.” Running his fingers through his hair nervously, Bucky went on. “I’m really sorry about how I acted that day, during lunch. It was completely inappropriate and I just… I promise I’ll never treat you that way again.”

“Buck,” Steve breathed his name and Bucky couldn’t look away, even if he wanted to. “It’s okay.” He reached his hand out, cupping Bucky’s cheek. “We’re okay. Right?”

Swallowing thickly, Bucky placed his hand over Steve’s. “Yes,” He whispered. “We’re okay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved writing Steve's confession, so I hope you all liked it <3


	7. Move Me, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flirting. Dancing. And other very good things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favorites, I hope you all like it!

The following day, and every day that week, Steve stopped by the care center to drop off an iced caramel macchiato during Bucky’s lunch break. Each time, Bucky’s heart would begin racing excitedly and a blush would spread across his cheeks. Each time, Steve would hug Bucky, saying something sweet to him before departing.

Thursday was dark and stormy, rain pouring down in sheets, and when Steve arrived, he was soaked. Regardless, he had his signature smile when he greeted Bucky.

“Steve! You’re drenched!” Bucky gaped, trying not to pay too much attention to how the water made Steve’s shirt cling to his chest and shoulders.

“It would appear so,” Steve chuckled, looking down at himself, as though he hadn’t realized it until that moment.

“C’mon.” Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand, leading him to the locker room. “There’s some towels in here. I can’t believe you came in this weather.”

“I wanted to see you,” Steve said softly, then frowned slightly. “Should I have not? If I’m visiting too much, just tell me, I understand if-”

Bucky yanked him into the locker room, shutting the door behind them. “Seeing you is always the best part of my day, Steve.”

Steve leaned his back against the door, sighing in relief. “Same here. I mean, seeing you is the best part of my day, too.”

For a moment, the two of them simply stared at each other, dopey smiles on their faces. The sensation of warmth and joy blooming inside of his heart was something Bucky chose not to look at too closely. He then realized Steve was still dripping water and snagged several towels for him. As he watched Steve patting himself down, Bucky struggled not to stare, but the man was just so incredibly beautiful; it was hard not to watch his every movement.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Steve asked, and Bucky realized he’d lost himself in a daze.

Even as he felt his cheeks heating up, Bucky took a step forward, closing the distance between them. “I just… I really want to kiss you.” He swallowed thickly. “I mean, only if you-”

“I want to kiss you, too. I wanted to kiss you the moment I saw you at the vending machine.” 

Bucky smirked. “Is that so?” When Steve nodded quickly, Bucky placed a hand on the side of Steve’s neck and slowly pulled him in.

When they were only inches away, Steve whispered, “Yes, and every day since.” Then, in the blink of an eye, their lips came together. It was merely a peck, Steve pulling back to gauge Bucky’s reaction, but Bucky simply pulled him forward again. 

Bucky hummed happily, their mouths fitting together like two puzzle pieces. When Steve wrapped his arms around his shoulders, urging him closer. A small gasp escaped him, but Steve swallowed it. His tongue teased at the seam of Bucky’s lips but before he could accept, someone attempted to push the door open. The only thing that kept them from being caught was Steve's massive body.

Steve froze, his eyes wide with panic. It made Bucky’s stomach sink, seeing how it terrified him to be seen with another man. He desperately wanted to reassure him. “It’s okay. No one saw.” He backed away but Steve grabbed his hand.

“It’s not… I’m not afraid of getting caught because you’re a man. I just don’t want to get you in trouble at work.” Steve chuckled, pulling Bucky into a hug. “I should get going. I'm really glad I got to see you today.”

Bucky snorted in amusement. “Same here, pal.” He then followed Steve out of the locker room. Outside stood Diana, arms crossed but a playful smirk adorned her face. She let them pass without saying a word.

Friday’s visit was more brief, but no less enjoyable. “I can’t wait to see you on Sunday,” Steve whispered into Bucky’s ear during a particularly long hug, and Bucky could feel goosebumps spread across his body.

When they finally separated, Bucky bit his lip, and couldn’t miss the way Steve’s eyes zeroed in on his mouth. He still felt unsure of what was happening between them, but Steve was making it abundantly clear that he was attracted to Bucky. Bucky could only hope that Steve’s attraction to him was more than physical, because he was already head over heels for Steve.

“Me either,” He finally answered, grinning.

“Good.” Steve took a few steps back, heading toward the lobby doors. “I’ll see you day after tomorrow.” He winked and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, watching Steve turn and exit the building.

*

When Sunday  _ finally _ rolled around, Bucky all but shoved a grinning Diana out of the apartment. “Don’t come home early, either!” He demanded but his roommate only laughed in reply as she stepped into the elevator. With a deep sigh, Bucky ran back inside and shut the door, heading toward his bedroom. He’d picked out his outfit the night before, so as not to have an embarrassing repeat of last time. He stepped into his best fitting jeans, that hugged him in  _ all _ the right places, and a tee shirt that read,  _ you’ve gotta be kitten me right meow _ . Steve seemed like the kind of guy that would appreciate a good pun, Bucky thought. 

The sound of knocking at the door had Bucky speeding to answer it, both excited and a little anxious. Opening the door, he saw Steve standing there, a bright smile on his face. “Hi,” He said, as Bucky stepped aside to let him in before shutting the door. 

“Hi,” Bucky replied softly, doing his best not to sound as overwhelmed as he felt. He could feel his face heating up when Steve, very obviously, looked him up and down, his smile turning mischievous.

“You look good. I like your shirt.” Steve ran his fingers through his hair and Bucky could see the sudden self doubt behind the action.

“Thanks, you do, too.” Letting his eyes wander over Steve’s body, Bucky nearly found himself drooling at the tight jeans, and even tighter white tee shirt that he adorned. He briefly wondered if Steve had purposely bought the clothes too small, because Bucky had never seen him in anything other than tailored slacks and dress shirts.

“Well, to be honest, Natasha gave me these to wear,” Steve said, motioning to his outfit, and Bucky realized he’d actually spoken his thoughts out loud. 

“Natasha has excellent taste in fashion,” He blurted out, giving an embarrassed smile. “Wow, and I was hoping I wouldn’t be as awkward this time around.” 

Steve burst out laughing. “Same here At least we can be awkward together.”

Blushing, Bucky nodded. “Sounds good. Did you want anything to drink or-”

“I’m good, Bucky.” Steve’s eyes never left his and it made his heart skip a beat. 

Bucky felt like he was finally getting to know the real Steve Rogers; flirtatious, fun, and full of fire. Nothing like the meek, mild mannered Captain America that the world knew. It was thrilling to be given the privilege of seeing the man beneath the suit and shield.

“Okay, first things first," Bucky announced with a smirk, "please take your shoes off.” Steve laughed but did as Bucky asked. 

“Anything else you want me to do?” Steve asked, stepping into Bucky’s space.

“Y-yeah,” He stammered, “I want you to…” Bucky leaned in slightly and gave a sly smile. “I want you to pick a song.” 

Steve’s jaw dropped and Bucky laughed as he turned around to pull up the music app on his phone. He heard Steve huff and Bucky looked over his shoulder, only to see Steve with an exaggerated pout on his face. “Bucky Barnes, you’re nothing but trouble.”

“I try.”

“How about we start with  _ In The Mood _ by Glenn Miller?” 

Bucky returned to Steve as the music began, biting his lip before grabbing hold of Steve and spinning him around. “Let’s do a little improv swing?”

“Let’s.” Steve was, somehow, pretty damn good at swing and Bucky felt giddy with excitement.

“Look at you go!” Bucky shouted happily, as Steve twirled him under his arm and quickly dipped him. 

“I’d rather look at you,” Steve confessed with a wink and Bucky could only laugh.

By the time the song ended, they were both breathless and smiling brightly at one another. Bucky again found himself utterly enthralled by Steve, and the feelings he elicited every time they were together. Watching the way Steve’s eyes danced over his face, Bucky couldn’t hold back; he placed his hands on Steve’s cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. It was short and chaste, but it was clearly appreciated

“What was that for?” Steve asked, demurely.

Bucky cocked an eyebrow at him, wondering if Steve really didn’t know. “Because I… I like you.”

Steve’s eyes widened, and Bucky felt his stomach clench, worrying the feeling wasn’t reciprocated. But then, suddenly, Steve leaned in, kissing Bucky softly. “I like you, too.”

“I’m glad,” Bucky replied, a mixture of nerves and excitement coursing through his veins. In an attempt to calm himself, he went back to his phone, starting up some slow jazz music. “This okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Steve extended his hand, and Bucky happily returned to him, placing his palm in Steve’s. “Gonna try and teach these two left feet how to slow dance?”

Chuckling, Bucky nodded. “I’m going to try. Peggy has faith in me, so I’m convinced we’ll get there eventually.”

With their hands in place, Bucky gave an encouraging smile and began to lead Steve across the room with slow, well placed steps.

“Peggy’s always been a good judge of character. As soon as she told me how much she adored you, I knew I had to-” Steve cut himself off, blushing as he looked down at their feet.

“You knew you had to, what?” Bucky gave Steve’s hand a small squeeze, and loved the way it made him smile.

“I knew I wanted to get to know you,” He finally admitted. “Then, everytime we were together, I just… I felt drawn to you.” Steve shook his head then. “I know that sounds ridiculous, but…”

“I don’t think it sounds ridiculous at all. I feel the same way. Whenever I’m with you, I find myself feeling completely enraptured.” Bucky could feel his own cheeks flushing at the declaration. 

“I’m really glad to hear that, Buck,” Steve whispered.

After a brief lull in the music,  _ I’m Yours _ by Billie Holiday began playing. Steve took Bucky’s hand in his own and placed his other on Bucky’s hip, then they began swaying slowly together. A soft expression settled across Steve’s face and, while he couldn’t identify it, Bucky thought he looked so beautiful, so at peace; it made his breath catch in his throat.

Cautiously, Steve then began leaning closer to him, gently leaning his forehead against Bucky’s. Unable to take his eyes off of Steve’s, Bucky watched, entranced, as Steve tenderly pressed his lips against Bucky’s. A small gasp escaped him before reciprocating the kiss; it was both lazy and soft and Bucky wanted to drown in the sensation. He had no idea how long they stood there trading kisses in silence, but when Bucky felt Steve’s hand slowly sliding around to his ass, he pulled away. “ _ Steve _ ,” He whispered.

“Bucky,” Steve all but moaned into his mouth. “I want you.”

He couldn’t hold back after hearing that and Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “Want you, too.” That seemed to spur Steve on because he quickly lowered his hands behind Bucky’s thighs, hoisting him up. Bucky instinctively wrapped his legs around Steve’s narrow waist. Feeling how strong he was made Bucky’s cock twitch in his pants. 

“Shit,” Steve mumbled, pressing Bucky’s back up against a wall and kissing him fiercely. “You’re so beautiful, Buck,” He whispered against the skin of Bucky’s neck, mouthing and nipping at it.

Bucky felt himself blushing, just like he always did when Steve complimented him, and could only moan in reply. Steve appeared to like that response because he quickly returned to Bucky’s lips, thrusting his tongue inside. The way Steve manhandled him surprised Bucky, but he  _ loved _ it; it had his blood boiling and his cock dripping.

“Oh, God,” He whimpered, “Feels so good.”

“Yeah? You want more?” Steve rasped out between kisses. Bucky nodded frantically, the ability to speak suddenly lost. “Whatever you want, Buck, just need you to tell me.”

An embarrassingly high pitched whine escaped Bucky’s throat as he struggled to string a sentence together. “W-want you to touch me,  _ need it _ .”

“Touch you where, doll?”

Bucky pressed his face into Steve’s neck, suddenly feeling self conscious, but Steve was having none of it. He tightened his grip on Bucky’s ass, his fingers sliding right between the cheeks. “Oh, fuck, my dick, want you to touch my dick.”

Suddenly, Steve was carrying him to the couch, gently laying him down. “I can do that. Just tell me what you want me to use to touch you.” When Bucky furrowed his brows in confusion, Steve chuckled. “You want me to touch you with my hands? My mouth? Or do you want to rut against my cock?” As Bucky let out a guttural groan, Steve nodded. “Yeah, I want that, too.”

As Steve pulled his shirt over his head, Bucky gaped, blown away by the perfection standing before him. Steve’s body was flawless and Bucky wanted to taste every inch of it. Maybe another time.  _ Will there be another time? _ He thought to himself, but it quickly disappeared when Steve pulled down his jeans and briefs, revealing a dick just as perfect as the rest of him. When Steve was completely naked, he raised an eyebrow at Bucky and he realized he was still fully dressed.

“Oh.” Bucky blushed under Steve’s intense gaze but shucked off his pants, boxers, and shirt as fast as he could. Lying there, completely bare, he had to fight the urge to cover himself. Bucky knew he was fit, kickboxing with Antiope guaranteed that, but being in shape didn’t stop those prickling thoughts of self doubt.

“Are you okay?” Steve’s expression softened as he sat beside Bucky’s hip. “We don’t have to do this.”

“I want to!” Bucky rushed. “I just… feel kind of inadequate.”

“Bucky,” He breathed, running a hand down Bucky’s chest. “You are the most gorgeous human being I have ever seen in my life.” Steve smiled then. “And you’re just as beautiful inside.”

Bucky bit his lip and squirmed but he didn’t want to put this off any longer. He  _ wanted _ Steve like he’d never wanted anyone before. Reaching out for him, Steve obliged, and crawled on top of him, kneeling between Bucky’s legs. “Wanna touch you everywhere,” Bucky whispered.

Steve leaned down, caging Bucky’s head between his arms, and kissed him deeply. It was less frantic than before but just as passionate. Bucky slid his hands down Steve’s back, until he reached the round, muscular globes of his ass, giving them a firm squeeze before pulling him down. When their cocks finally came together, both men moaned wantonly.

“Fuck, you feel so good, doll.” Steve ground his cock against Bucky’s as he kissed down Bucky’s neck.

“Oh, God,” He mewled. “D-don’t stop, don’t stop.”

“Not gonna stop till we’re both coming all over your sexy body.” Steve purred. “Would you like that?”

“Shit,  _ please _ , Steve. Make me messy with it.” Bucky was begging, and he  _ never _ begged, but he didn’t give a single fuck. All he could think about was Steve coming on him. 

Steve let out an animalistic moan then, keeping his eyes on Bucky’s as he reached down between their bodies and grasped his hand around both their cocks. Bucky nearly sobbed at how good it felt. He’d done this with other guys, but it had  _ never _ made him want to blow his load as much as he did in that moment. Steve dropped his forehead against Bucky’s, closing his eyes as he panted, continuing to jerk their cocks at a maddening pace.

“Got me so close, Buck,” Steve groaned, “‘m not gonna last.”

“Me either," he choked out, "don’t stop, Stevie.”

“ _ Bucky, _ ” Steve fucking  _ whimpered _ as he came, and that sound alone pushed Bucky over the precipice. With a shout, Bucky was coming, unable to look away from the sight of their cocks, shooting ribbons of hot come across his abdomen. 

Once their orgasms had abated, Steve carefully lowered himself on top of Bucky, making sure not to crush him under his full weight. Bucky smiled softly and Steve leaned down to kiss him. It was languid and unrushed, and Bucky was sure he could die from happiness at that moment. When Steve began running his fingers through Bucky’s hair, he hummed blissfully, a smile spreading across his face.

“That feels good,” Bucky said softly.

“Good.” Steve smiled, rubbing the tip of his nose against Bucky’s and, as ridiculously sappy as it was, Bucky  _ loved it _ . “I only ever want you to feel good.”

Grinning, Bucky gently touched Steve’s face. “You always make me feel good.”

The blush that spread across Steve’s face was downright adorable. Especially considering the things he’d been saying to Bucky not ten minutes ago. Bucky couldn’t resist pulling him down into another kiss, not caring about the come covering their stomachs. They kissed for what felt like days, but Steve suddenly yanked away when the sound of Nicki Minaj’s  _ Anaconda _ began playing loudly. 

Steve groaned. “Sorry, I gotta get that.” He carefully climbed off of the couch and retrieved his phone from his jeans pocket, answering it hastily. “Tony, you’ve got to change that ringtone, it’s so-” His brow suddenly furrowed. “When? Okay, I’ll be there in ten.” 

When he looked down at Bucky, still lying naked on the couch, Steve gave a sad smile. Sitting up, Bucky reached for his shirt to place on his lap, feeling oddly overexposed. “You gotta go?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah, there’s… a thing I have to take care of.” Steve fidgeted but began picking up his clothes. Bucky went to the kitchen and wiped himself off with a damp dish towel. He rinsed it and brought it to Steve, who was still standing there naked. He accepted the towel, swiping it over his abdomen and, with flushed cheeks, handed it back to Bucky.

“Is it dangerous?” Bucky couldn’t help asking, unable to keep the worry from his voice. He knew if there was a  _ thing _ that required Captain America, it wasn’t going to be something good.

“Um, a bit,” Steve evaded, buttoning his jeans and pulling his shirt over his head. “I’ll be alright though.” 

Bucky wasn’t convinced but nodded anyway. Jerking his boxers on, he led Steve to the door, ignoring the tightness in his chest. He bit his lip as he looked into Steve’s eyes. “Could… Could you let me know when you’re back? When you’re safe?”

“Of course, absolutely.” Steve’s smile was radiant and it helped lessen the tension growing inside of Bucky. With no hesitation, he cupped Bucky’s face and kissed him, stepping in close. 

When they parted, Bucky felt breathless. “I’ll be waiting,” he whispered, pulling Steve in for one last kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think? ;)


	8. Faith In Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A roller coaster of feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter! Enjoy!

Only days later, as Bucky was leaving work, he received a phone call from Steve. He took a moment to attempt to contain his excitement before answering, “Hello?”

_“Hey, Bucky,_ ” Steve sounded just as enthused as Bucky and he grinned to himself. 

“You’re back?” He questioned.

“ _Yeah, everything got wrapped up sooner than we expected_.” 

“You’re not hurt, right?” Bucky asked, needing to be sure.

_“Just a couple bumps and bruises but they’ll heal before the end of the day. Nothing to worry about_ ,” Steve assured.

Bucky sighed in relief. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“ _Thanks_ ,” He sounded almost bashful and it made Bucky feel giddy. “ _I wanted to ask if you were busy later?_ ”

“Uh,” Bucky took a moment to think. “No, no plans. Why?”

“ _Well, I was wondering if you, um, wanted to go out tonight?_ ” Steve asked, the words racing out of his mouth.

“Oh, wow. I’d love to.” Bucky knew he sounded overeager but he didn’t care,

“ _Yeah?_ ” Steve sounded surprised, then let out a huffed laugh. “ _That’s great._ ”

There was a brief pause, and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous they both were. “When should I be expecting you?”

_“Oh! Right! Um, is 8 o’clock good?”_

“That’s fine. Where are we going?” Bucky asked curiously.

_“I was thinking…. If you’re up for it, that is… um, maybe we could, uh-_ ” Steve stuttered and Bucky nearly giggled at the thought of him so flustered.

“Steve, it’s okay. Wherever you want to take me, I’ll be happy to go with you.” He tried to reassure.

_“Dancing?”_ Steve’s voice was high pitched and wavered, and it made Bucky’s heart melt. How was this man so endearing?

“We’re going dancing?” Bucky clarified.

_“Yes?”_

“Okay,” Bucky couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped him. “I can’t wait. I’ll see you at 8.”

*

“You’re sure you’re okay with being here?” Bucky asked nervously, as they both took seats at the bar of the nightclub they were visiting.

“I’m sure I want to be here with you.” Steve smiled at him, before ordering a beer for the both of them.

Bucky blushed but nodded and took a sip of his drink. “Have you been here before?”

Steve shook his head. “I’ve never really gone out since... well, ever.” 

“A stud like you?” Bucky gave a teasing grin. “I’m feeling mighty privileged.”

“To be honest, I’ve never had anyone I _wanted_ to take out.” Steve bumped his shoulder against Bucky’s, a soft smile on his lips.

The urge to lean in and kiss Steve was pulsing through Bucky’s veins, but he didn’t want to be presumptuous, and assume Steve would be comfortable with something like that. Instead, he took Steve’s hand in his own and gave it a tight squeeze, feeling almost giddy at the returned gesture. 

When _Wow._ by Post Malone began playing, Bucky couldn’t help bobbing his head; he loved him some Posty. Turning to Steve with a bright smile, he asked, “Wanna dance?” 

Steve’s eyes widened for a moment before he smiled back. “Absolutely.” 

He led Bucky to the dancefloor and for a moment, Steve stood a bit awkwardly, looking around. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s massive shoulders, pulling their bodies closer, and began swaying his hips to the beat. Steve gaped at him, but not for long, as his look turned almost predatory, and grabbed onto Bucky’s lower back. When he began moving in sync with him, Bucky was shocked but also incredibly turned on.

“When’d you learn to dance like this?” Bucky yelled over the music, grinning.

“Courtesy of Natasha,” Steve answered, his mouth pressed close to Bucky’s ear.

Bucky couldn’t help frowning, imagining someone else’s hands on Steve’s body had jealousy clouding his mind. “That so?” 

Steve laughed but nuzzled his nose against Bucky’s neck. “She showed me some videos on YouTube, said she didn’t want her fighting hindered by a broken foot.”

“Oh,” Bucky threw his head back, laughing. “That’s fair.”

“You jealous?” Steve purred.

Feeling his cheeks flush, Bucky ducked his head, embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Steve used a finger to tilt Bucky’s head up, then kissed him softly. “I like it.”

A shudder made its way down Bucky’s spine, and he could only pull Steve closer until their bodies were flush together. Steve kissed him again, and Bucky lost himself in it, feeling and tasting Steve was quickly becoming his new favorite activity. Time seemed to stop, it was just Steve and Bucky together in their own little bubble, and the outside world wasn’t invited.

Sadly, Bucky eventually had to break the kiss, his greedy lungs burning for oxygen. When he saw how puffy, red, and spit slick Steve’s lips were, he couldn’t help but moan. “I need a break.”

Steve released a breathless laugh but nodded, and walked with Bucky back to the bar. “I really like dancing with you,” Steve admitted with a mischievous grin.

“I really want to-” Bucky was cut off as a man stumbled up to them, all but bumping into Steve. 

“Hey, I’m Rico,” He slurred, eyeing Bucky up and down. Steve scowled but the man didn’t seem to care. “Are you with this guy?” He asked, gesturing flippantly at Steve.

“He is,” Steve answered firmly. The tone of his voice had a bolt of arousal shooting through Bucky’s body, and his dick suddenly began chubbing up.

“ _Dude_ , I was asking-”

Steve stood then, squaring his shoulders in an impressive stance. “I said, _he’s with me._ ” The man’s mouth dropped before slinking away, proverbial tail between his legs. Once they were alone, Steve turned to Bucky. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to answer for you, I just-”

“Just, what?” Bucky breathed, and Steve must have seen the heat in his eyes.

Leaning in close, placing his lips against Bucky’s ear, he whispered, “I don’t like to share.”

Bucky couldn’t stop the whimper that came out of him; when he saw the way Steve’s eyes darkened, his dick began hardening painfully in his jeans. Bucky desperately wanted to leave the bar, wanted to be alone with Steve. “You, uh, wanna get out of here?”

“Fuck, yes,” Steve growled, grabbing Bucky’s hand. The two of them all but ran from the building and hailed a cab.

When he heard Steve give the driver Bucky’s address, he groaned. “We can’t go to my place, Diana's home.”

“Stark Tower,” Steve then instructed, and Bucky’s heart began pounding in his chest.

“But, Steve,” He hissed nervously, “What if someone sees me, I-”

“I don’t give a damn who sees us, Bucky.” Steve cupped the back of Bucky’s neck, pulling him in for a bruising kiss. 

“Aye!” The cabbie knocked loudly on the partition. “No nookie in my car!”

Steve pulled back, and they both began giggling like children. For the rest of the ride, they simply held hands, occasionally glancing at one another and snickering. When they finally reached Stark Tower, Steve threw several fifty dollar bills through the slot and helped Bucky out of the car. Bucky looked down at their joined hands, then up at Steve. “Are you sure-”

“Bucky.” Steve grabbed his other hand and pulled him close. “I want you.” He suddenly looked nervous as he looked down at the ground, avoiding Bucky’s eyes. “I know I come with a lot of baggage, and I completely understand if it’s too much. If you don’t want-”

Pressing his lips to Steve’s, Bucky kissed him deeply for a long moment before finally answering. “It’s not too much. I don’t care about any of the other stuff, I want you as you are.”

“O-oh.” Steve blushed fire engine red right up to his ears, smiling sheepishly. “Okay.”

“Take me to bed, Steve.”

*

As they stepped out of the private elevator and into Steve’s room, Bucky couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping. Everything looked shiny and new, straight out of a sci-fi movie. But the rooms looked unlived in; there were no personal touches and the lamps, furniture, even the paintings on the walls looked like they belonged on the showroom floor.

Steve didn’t give him long to look around, though, as he grabbed Bucky’s hand again and took him right to his bedroom. They kicked off their shoes before climbing onto the bed and resumed kissing. Bucky crawled on top of Steve, thrusting his hips downward, relishing the groan it elicited. 

“Oh, God.” Steve grabbed onto Bucky’s ass, holding him still so that he could grind their cocks together. “Fuck, need more, Buck.” 

Without thinking, Bucky sat up and peeled his shirt off, then quickly got to work on his jeans. When he noticed Steve hadn’t moved, his hands froze, just as he was beginning to pull his pants down. “Um, is this not what you meant?” 

“No, it is. Just, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” Steve breathed the words, and Bucky blushed deeply. Grinning at the effect his words had, Steve finally got on board and began removing his own clothes.

When they were finally naked, Bucky leaned down and took Steve’s cock into his mouth, wrapping his lips around the head and sucking. Steve’s hands shot down to Bucky’s head, gripping at his hair hard enough to make Bucky moan. 

“Oh my God, Buck,” Steve moaned loudly, “I can’t- your _mouth_ -”

Bucky began bobbing his head, letting the tip reach his throat and swallowing around it. The sounds Steve made would be seared into Bucky’s mind for the remainder of his life. “You taste so good, Stevie,” He panted, prodding his tongue into the leaking slit.

“Buck, please,” Steve pleaded, already breathing heavily. “Want you to fuck me.”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He’d expected Steve to prefer topping, but he didn’t want to bring it up and make things awkward. Although Bucky almost exclusively bottomed, he had no qualms with fucking Steve’s perfect ass.

Steve handed him lube from his bedside table. “I-I can’t transmit any diseases or get sick, because of the serum, but we can use condoms if you want.”

“No, wanna fill you up,” Bucky answered, after thinking it over briefly. Steve seemed to like that response, as pre come pearled on the head of his cock. When Steve pulled his legs back, Bucky couldn’t resist leaning in and licking a wide stripe over his exposed hole, causing Steve to yelp in surprise.

“That okay?” Bucky asked, hoping he hadn’t made Steve uncomfortable.

“Just- just never had that done before, it’s very okay, though,” Steve admitted, a flush spreading down his chest.

“‘M gonna make you feel so good, Stevie,” Bucky purred, before lapping at Steve’s hole, over and over again.

Steve resumed his grip on Bucky’s hair, shouting out unintelligible words. Bucky kept at it, prodding and licking at Steve’s entrance until Steve’s whole body was trembling. Finally sitting back, he slicked his fingers and began circling Steve’s hole.

“P-please, need it, Buck,” Steve begged. “Fuck me.”

Hearing Steve Rogers beg for him gave Bucky a feeling of euphoria he’d never forget. He relented and gently slid his finger in. Bucky didn’t know if Steve had done this before and wanted to be careful with him, regardless of his super soldier body. 

Slowly and thoroughly, Bucky opened him up until he had three fingers deep inside Steve’s ass, brushing against his prostate every other thrust. Steve looked like he was about to lose his mind; his skin was already covered in a sheen of sweat; his hair a mess from gripping at it repeatedly. Bucky gave himself kudos for not coming from the sight alone.

“You think you’re ready?” He asked, hoping like hell the answer was _yes_. 

“Fuck, yes, need you in me, _now_." 

Bucky hastily slicked his cock and, as delicately as he could, slid inside. Steve’s tight hole gripped him, and Bucky was sure he’d never felt as good as he did in that moment. As he bottomed out, he watched Steve’s face, checking for any signs of pain or discomfort. He gulped, finding that Steve's mouth had dropped open and his eyelids were fluttering. 

“Good?” Bucky grunted, needing to be sure.

“‘S so good, I didn’t know- oh god, please move,” Steve pleaded, opening his eyes enough to see Bucky. “Need you.”

The warmth that bloomed in Bucky’s chest was indescribable, and he took a moment to bathe in its comfort before sliding out of Steve. Once just his cock head was stretching Steve’s rim, Bucky thrust back in, repeating the action until he found a steady rhythm.

“Shit, you feel so good on my cock,” Bucky panted, glancing down to watch where his body connected with Steve’s. 

“Buck, more, fill me up. ” Steve’s voice was strained and needy, and Bucky couldn’t have denied him anything at that point in time

Quickening his pace, Bucky began thrusting harder, punching out pornographic grunts and moans from both of them. Steve then pulled Bucky down, wrapping his arms and legs around him tightly. “Your cock fills me up so good- _fuck_! Don’t stop, please don’t stop.” He begged.

“Never,” Bucky growled, snapping his hips forward, the sound of skin slapping together quickly filled the room. 

It wasn’t long before Bucky could feel his orgasm fast approaching and he desperately hoped that Steve was almost there too. “Gettin’ close,” He whispered, trailing his lips across Steve’s neck and up to his lips.

“Harder, I’m so close.” Steve tightened his grip on Bucky. “ _Harder.”_

In a final burst of energy, Bucky pounded into Steve’s hole with abandon and only moments later, Steve was coming; eyes screwed shut and a silent scream on his lips. The feeling of Steve clenching down on his cock sent Bucky over the edge, as he bit down on Steve’s shoulder and spent his load into Steve’s tight ass.

“Oh, fuck,” He grunted, collapsing on top of Steve. Bucky panted, glowing in post coital endorphins. “That was amazing.”

Huffing out a quiet laugh, Steve hummed in agreement. “Best I’ve ever had. In any century.” When Bucky quirked an eyebrow at him, Steve chuckled. “It’s true.”

A stab of possessiveness shot through Bucky, and he couldn’t help but ask, “Do I have a lot of competition in that arena?”

“Not really,” Steve murmured.

“But you’ve had sex with men before?” 

Steve blushed bright red and looked away, hiding his face in the crook of Bucky’s shoulder and neck. “Um, yeah,” He mumbled, “But only before the serum, though.”

Bucky was surprised by this answer; he’d assumed it would’ve been _after_ the serum that Steve would’ve begun sowing his wild oats. “Was it always… uh, like this?” Bucky gestured at their bodies.

“I only-” Steve looked up at Bucky, a look of shame on his face as he struggled to maintain eye contact. “Like I said before, I was a twink, and back then… twinks were only good for, well, receiving.”

Nodding his head, Bucky cupped Steve’s cheek. “That’s fine. Did you ever get to try anything else?”

Steve shrugged but nodded. “One of the USO girls wanted to go down on me, I let her.” He looked into Bucky’s eyes again. “I thought if I let her, maybe it would… I don’t know, fix me.”

Bucky clenched his jaw painfully. “You know that you don’t need to be fixed, right? You’re not broken, you’re perfect exactly as you are.”

“I-I didn’t think that for a long time, even after I came out of the ice.”

“What changed your mind?” Bucky asked curiously.

“You,” Steve breathed, a shy smile on his face.

*

“Hey, Bucky,” Luis called him over as he entered the locker room. “I gotta talk to you.”

“Sure, man, what’s going on?” Bucky sat down, concerned by his friend’s tight lipped expression.

“It’s Peggy. She had a bad weekend.” Luis sighed, rubbing his eyes, before continuing. “On Saturday… I’ve never seen her like that. She wouldn’t eat and she was belligerent with pretty much everyone.”

Bucky frowned at the news. “What about Sunday?” He finally asked.

“Much more docile but not any better. She barely ate and wouldn’t communicate with anyone.”

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. This was always the part of his job that crushed him; he cared about all the residents and it was heartbreaking to see them declining. The fact that he felt so close to Peggy only made it more painful. He then realized he’d have to tell Steve, whenever he came back. It was never easy to explain these developments with loved ones but he knew this was going to be especially difficult.

“Thanks for letting me know, Luis. I appreciate it.” Bucky stood, giving Luis a sad but appreciative smile before leaving the room.

He _wanted_ to go straight to Peggy’s room to check on her but he had rounds to do and paperwork to fill out. It was just after noon when Bucky finally found the time to visit her. When he saw her, he nearly gasped; she looked pale and her eyes were more sunken-in than they had been just two days ago. For the first time, she was simply laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Peggy?” Bucky quietly approached her, not wanting to startle her.

“Sergeant Barnes? Is that you?” Peggy slowly turned her head to look at him, her eyes widened. “Why aren’t you in your uniform?”

“I had to have it cleaned. I’ll put it on as soon as it’s dry.” Bucky sat beside her and she struggled to take his hand in her own, so he slid his hand under hers and she grasped it weakly. This wasn’t the first time she’d referred to him as Sergeant and he had no idea who she thought he was, but it was better that she at least _thought_ she knew him. It was never good when a resident thought you were a stranger.

Peggy only hummed in acknowledgement before looking away. “Could you open my blinds for me?” 

“Of course.” Bucky stood, sliding his hand out of Peggy’s, and went to her window. “It’s a beautiful day.” 

“Is it?” She asked, even as the sunlight filled her room.

“It is,” He answered solemnly.

“Did you know,” She began slowly, “I used to know Steve Rogers?”

Bucky froze but quickly collected his wits and turned to her with a smile. “Yeah?”

“He was a lovely man. I was terribly upset when he died. I wonder what he would be doing right now, had he lived.” Peggy’s gaze seemed distant then and Bucky knew it was best to give her time alone.

“I’ll be back later, Peggy, try to get some rest.”

*

Peggy rapidly declined, moments of clarity becoming more and more infrequent. By Thursday, she was having to be spoon fed.

Friday afternoon, Bucky decided to take a much needed break, and had just sat down on a bench in the care facility’s garden when he heard someone yell his name. Looking up, his jaw dropped as he spotted Tony Stark approaching him, and he leapt to his feet.

“Don’t bother.” Tony waved his hand at Bucky, indicating him to sit back down. “This isn’t going to take long.”

“Um, okay.” Bucky shifted from foot to foot nervously before sitting back down.

Tony looked him up and down, and Bucky could feel the judgment behind the act. Just as he was about to say something, Tony pushed his sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head and looked Bucky in the eyes. “Stay away from Rogers.”

“Uh, what?” Bucky cocked an eyebrow, unsure of where this hostility was coming from, and momentarily wondering if this was some kind of joke. Tony’s unwavering scowl told him otherwise. “You’re serious.”

“Barnes, I can tell you like Steve and that’s understandable.” Tony crossed his arms, glowering at Bucky. “He’s a good guy, not hard on the eyes, so on and so forth.”

Bucky nodded his head reluctantly, though he could tell he wasn’t going to like where this was going.

“Steve _is_ Captain America. That means he has a certain image to uphold. The public thinks he is the epitome of all that is pure and good in the world, and they _need_ to believe that. If anyone were to find out he’s hooking up with some glorified ass wiper that’s supposed to be taking care of the love of his life? It would ruin him.” Taking a step forward, Tony lowered his voice as he continued, “Stay. Away. From. Him. Got it?”

Bucky stood up, glaring at Tony’s smug face. “Steve is a _man_ before he’s Captain America,” he growled. “He’s entitled to make his own choices.”

Tony’s jaw clenched, as did his fists. “Do you think I can’t ruin you?” Suddenly a devilish smirk formed on his face, and his stance relaxed. “What would the tabloids think if they found out Peggy Carter’s nurse was taking advantage of, and _using_ Captain America?” Bucky felt like he was going to pass out as the words rang through his head, echoing against the walls of his brain. “You’d lose your job, your friends, your reputation, _everything_ . You’ll only ever be known as _that guy_.”

Rage suddenly began coursing through Bucky’s body. Over the past several weeks, he’d gotten to know Steve, the _real_ Steve. He’d told Bucky that he wanted to live without the expectations of being an Avenger, he wanted to be allowed to just be himself. The anger Bucky had felt, when Steve told him that he felt forced to hide who he really was, was quickly reignited by Tony’s words. Stepping into his space, Bucky nearly growled. “Listen here, Bitchy McPrivilege Pants, you threaten me again, I don’t give a damn if you’re Iron Man, we’re going toe to toe. I’m not going to stop being Steve’s friend, unless that’s what _he_ wants. Got It?”

Tony squinted his eyes, as though this hadn’t been what he’d expected of Bucky. A moment later he sneered, turning to walk away. “You’ve been warned, Barnes.”

Once he was alone again, Bucky slumped back down on the bench. He ran his fingers through his hair roughly, trying to settle his nerves. “ _Shit_ ,” He grumbled to himself, propping his elbows on his legs and holding his face in his hands.

Would Tony really go to the tabloids? Was Bucky truly damaging Steve’s life? He knew Steve wanted a life outside of the Avengers, but how could it be with someone like Bucky? He was just a CNA, _Peggy Carter’s_ CNA, no less. Steve deserved better, and he was going to realize it eventually. Hot tears pricked at his eyes and he angrily wiped them away.

“Bucky?” Diana suddenly appeared and sat beside him, quickly wrapping him in her arms. “What happened? Is it Steve?”

“No,” He huffed, “Yes. I don’t know.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Sniffling loudly, Bucky shook his head. “I’ll tell you after work. I need time to think.”

Nodding, Diana gave him a gentle squeeze. “Okay, whenever you’re ready, hon.”

*

After clocking out, Bucky was grateful that Diana didn’t question him on the ride home. When they finally walked into their apartment, Diana hummed as she walked into the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards and then the fridge and freezer.

“How do you feel about pizza tonight?” She called, as Bucky changed into pajama pants and a tee shirt in his room. Once he was dressed he dragged himself to the living room.

“Pizza sounds good,” Bucky mumbled, collapsing onto the couch. 

Once Diana had placed the order, she joined Bucky on the couch, propping her feet on his lap, wiggling her toes. Bucky huffed in faux annoyance but obliged and began rubbing her feet. 

“So, what’s going on with Steve?” Diana finally inquired, once she realized Bucky wasn’t going to open up outright.

Bucky dropped his head back and sighed loudly. “It’s not so much Steve, it’s me, actually.” When he glanced Diana’s way, she had an eyebrow raised expectantly. “Tony told me to stay away from Steve, that I was basically a liability to his reputation.”

Scowling and crossing her arms, Diana huffed. “Please tell me you don’t believe that overinflated windbag.”

“I dunno,” Bucky muttered, looking away. “Steve is… he’s important, a national icon for crying out loud! I’m just a CNA, you know? He deserves better than-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Diana leaned forward and punched him in the bicep. _Hard_. “Shame on you, Bucky Barnes.” She hissed.

“ _What_?” He grabbed his throbbing arm, wincing at the pain, and frowned at his friend.

“You are always the first one to remind everyone that Steve is _more_ than Captain America. That he _wants_ to be more than Captain America; and here you are telling me that Steve would care more about his reputation than about being happy with you?”

Bucky’s jaw dropped as he sputtered. “I- No- He just-” 

“Can you imagine how he would feel if he heard you say that?”

The seriousness of the question hit Bucky square in the chest. His ribcage felt like it was being squeezed painfully and his heart began pounding erratically, even his stomach felt like a lead weight had been dropped in it. He swallowed thickly, not bothering to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.

“He’d be pissed,” He choked out. Bucky could only imagine Steve’s reaction, after he’d opened himself up to Bucky, confessing his feelings and fears. Allowing himself to just _be_. To hear Bucky disregard it all, out of self doubt and paranoia; Steve would be crushed.

Diana sat up and pulled Bucky into a tight embrace. “No, Bucky, he’d be heartbroken,” She said gently, and a deep sob escaped him. “Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay, because you would never say those things to Steve. You would never let some pompous asshole like Tony Stark tell you to stop making Steve happy.” Diana tilted Bucky’s face up, looking him in the eyes. “ _You_ make him happy, don’t ever think otherwise.”

Sniffling and nodding, Bucky wrapped his arms around Diana. “He makes me happy, too.” He whimpered.

“I know.” Diana ran her fingers through Bucky’s hair, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

*

Just as Bucky was crawling into bed that night, he heard his phone ping, indicating a new text. Groggily, he checked it and froze; it was a message from Steve.

_Can you meet me downstairs?_

The earlier feelings of self doubt and inadequacy slowly crept in, and as Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, fighting them back, he received another text.

_Sorry. I didn’t realize it was so late._

That pulled him out of his stupor and Bucky quickly sent back a reply.

_No, it’s fine! I’ll be down in just a sec!_

He rushed to the bathroom to pull his hair into some semblance of a bun, before rushing to the elevator. When he reached the front entrance of the building, he could see Steve standing on the sidewalk, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. Bucky took a moment to just observe him, trying to read his body language, and he was surprised to see that Steve looked nervous. Was he here to tell Bucky it was over? Whatever _it_ was? Taking a deep breath, Bucky straightened his back and stepped outside. When Steve spotted him, he all but ambushed him, pulling Bucky into a tight hug.

“God,” He breathed, nuzzling his nose against Bucky’s neck. “I missed you so much, Buck.”

Bucky found himself so caught off guard, that he forgot to return the gesture. Steve, of course, noticed something was off, and quickly pulled back. “Sorry, I should’ve asked if I could do that.” He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, looking away with downcast eyes.

“No, it’s- it’s fine, I just…” Bucky bit his lip, trying to let go of the fear he felt. “I wasn’t expecting that, is all.”

Steve eyed him with furrowed brows. “You weren’t expecting me to miss you?” Bucky’s heart broke when he saw the disappointment wash over Steve’s face, as he took a step back. “I- I thought we…”

“It’s not that, I swear, I’m just having… I don’t know, a crisis, I guess.” Bucky sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed you were… that you felt… but you _said_ -”

Bucky wanted to slap himself for being so stupid. Steve had always been completely upfront and honest about his feelings, and Bucky needed to trust him, the way he trusted Bucky. Grabbing hold of Steve’s hands, Bucky took a step forward. “I do like you, that definitely hasn’t changed. I’m just… I’m happy to see you, too, Steve.”

At the sight of Steve’s face lighting up in joy, Bucky couldn’t resist pulling him in for a kiss. He’d intended for it to be just a brief peck on the lips, but it was clear neither of them could hold back. As soon as he felt his cock hardening in his pants, Bucky pulled away, panting and smiling shyly. 

“I’m going to be swamped with reports, debriefings, and the works over the weekend.” Steve scrunched his face in dissatisfaction. “I’ll take you out for lunch on Monday, though, if you want.”

“I’d love that.” Bucky couldn’t help but giggle at Steve’s beaming smile, and pulled him in for one last kiss. “I’ll see you then.”

“You will,” Steve purred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've noticed a lot of you have as much disdain for Tony Stark as I do, so hopefully there won't be any backlash over his scene lol 
> 
> Also, my incredible beta, humapuma, is to thank for the awesome insult "Bitchy McPrivilege Pants" 🤣


	9. Strength For the Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve face tragedy together.

Bucky walked into work the following week and was immediately halted by Claire. “I need to speak with you in my office,” She said in a quiet tone.

Bucky’s stomach dropped, but he nodded and followed her. She gestured for him to take a seat opposite her desk, and he did so slowly, knowing this was going to be bad news. “What happened?” 

“It’s Peggy,” Claire sighed, “she’s not doing well. Someone needs to update Mr. Rogers on her condition. I know you usually don’t do this but I thought I’d ask, since you’ve become friends with him.”

“R-right, yeah,” Bucky stuttered, a dull ache already building in his chest. “He’s stopping by today, I’ll talk to him then.”

“Thank you, James.” Claire gave a sympathetic smile. “Are you okay to do this alone? I could join you, or-”

“No,” He interrupted softly. “I think he’d prefer to be told alone.”

Claire nodded. “Okay, let me know if you need anything.”

Feeling as if his body was on autopilot, Bucky got up and left Claire’s office. He went directly to Peggy’s room, needing to see for himself how she was. When he got there, Bucky found her asleep in her bed, wheezing, chest rattling as she breathed. He stood in the doorway for only a brief moment, before quickly turning and retrieving her file. As he flipped through the pages, reading the updates, tears pricked at his eyes. Peggy was dying.

Bucky’s anxiety followed him for the rest of the morning, his stomach in knots and a tension headache slowly but surely taking hold. By the time noon rolled around, he found himself dreading Steve’s visit.

Standing by the front desk, awaiting Steve, Bucky put on his bravest face to greet him. He struggled not to cry as he was pulled into a hug. “Steve, I need to talk to you for a minute.”

Steve’s face fell. “Yeah, okay.” He took Bucky’s hand as he was led out to the garden. Once they’d taken a seat at the gazebo, Steve turned to Bucky, his face a war of emotions. “It’s Peggy, isn’t it? Is she… Did she-?” 

“She’s alive,” Bucky quickly answered. Taking a deep breath, he went on, “Her health is deteriorating. She’s having more bad days than good right now. She’s eating and talking less, sleeping more. She’s having a harder time breathing. That’s big… that’s going to be the worst part.”

Steve swallowed thickly, his grip on Bucky’s hand tightening. “Why?”

“It’s called  _ air hunger _ . It can be really… scary to see.”

“Is she in any pain?” Steve’s voice wavered but he sounded determined.

“The doctor’s have her on strong pain meds.” Bucky knew that wasn’t an answer to Steve’s question but he seemed to accept it, and nodded for Bucky to continue. “She’s losing weight, though they’re no longer weighing her at this point. We won’t force feed her but we’re giving her other options. Ice cream and high protein drinks, but she’s not taking them as often as she used to.”

“Okay,” Steve croaked and a tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it away angrily before asking, “What’s the treatment plan?”

Bucky could feel his own eyes watering but forced himself to hold them back. This was not the time. He needed to remain professional for Steve. “The doctor isn’t going to pursue any treatment. We’re just keeping her comfortable at this point.”

Steve released Bucky’s hand and covered his face as deep, heaving sobs tore through him. Without hesitating, Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve, holding him close, and silently letting his own tears fall. After several long minutes, Steve collected himself and looked up at Bucky, eyes puffy and red rimmed. “Can I see her?”

“Yeah, of course.” Bucky gently wiped tears from Steve’s face. “Do you want to use the bathroom first?”

Letting out a wet, humorless laugh, Steve gave a self deprecating smile. “Yeah, I probably look like a mess. Sorry.”

“Hey.” Making sure to catch Steve’s eyes, Bucky shook his head. “Don’t ever be sorry for crying. It only hurts more if you keep it locked inside.”

Steve sniffled and rubbed his palms on his pants, looking away briefly. “Thanks, Buck, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Blushing, Bucky stood, and extended his hand to Steve. “C’mon.”

After Steve freshened up in the bathroom, Bucky took him to Peggy’s room. He peeked his head inside, making sure she was awake, and saw her sitting up in bed. When he turned to look at Steve, he was biting his lip. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“Could you wait here for just a minute?” Steve asked sheepishly, averting his gaze.

“Of course.” He gave a soft smile and Steve slowly went inside.

Bucky turned around, giving Steve some privacy, but kept an ear out for an indication of trouble. When he heard Peggy gasp, Bucky immediately looked over his shoulder.

“ _ Steve? _ ” She looked genuinely startled and it put Bucky on alert. 

“Hey, Peg,” Steve greeted, approaching the bed.

“B-but you’re  _ dead _ .” Peggy’s bottom lip trembled for a moment, then she furrowed her brows. “You can’t be here.”

Steve shot a wary look at Bucky but took another step toward Peggy. “I-”

“You’re a spy!” She shouted angrily.

Bucky entered the room, hoping he could prevent the situation from escalating. It immediately backfired. “Who are  _ you _ ?” Peggy’s eyes widened in surprise.

Placing a hand on Steve’s arm, Bucky gave a gentle tug. “We should-”

“You’re not with SHIELD! Spies!” Peggy declared fiercely. “Help! Someone,  _ help! _ ”

Steve took a step back towards the door, shocked, his eyebrows raised high and mouth gaping. When Peggy began screaming, Claire and Luis rushed into the room. Bucky tried to lead Steve out of the room but he stood frozen in place as he watched Claire and Luis attempt to settle her. Peggy lashed out weakly at them both, continuing to shout, accusing them of being Hydra agents sent to kill her. When she spotted Steve again, she let out an anguished cry.

“We need to leave, we’re only making things worse,” Bucky told him, and Steve finally allowed himself to be escorted out of the room. They were soon followed by Luis and Claire, both of whom stood watch in the doorway. Bucky turned to Steve then, “They’re going to stay here and keep an eye on her, but it’s best to leave her alone for now. Okay?”

Only nodding minutely, Steve followed Bucky out of the hallway and into an empty room. Bucky shut the door and watched as Steve stood ramrod straight, a blank expression on his face. “Are you okay?” Bucky knew it was a ridiculous question but he needed to know how Steve was holding up.

“Th-that wasn’t Peggy Carter,” Steve whispered.

*

That night, as he climbed into bed, Bucky felt bone tired and exhausted. It wasn’t physical, though, Bucky’s heart, mind, and soul felt weak and frazzled. He couldn’t deny that Peggy was his favorite resident, had been since the day she came into the facility, and seeing her so far gone  _ hurt _ . Bucky lied staring at the ceiling for most of the night, when sleep finally came to him, it was fitfull and left him feeling even more tired when he got up to go to work the next day.

*

“Bucky,” Luis called. “You busy?”

“Always.” Bucky put his clipboard down and turned to look at him. “What is it?”

“Peggy asked to see you.” Luis gave a sad smile and patted him on the back.

With a brief nod of thanks, Bucky went straight to Peggy’s room, knocking lightly on the door before entering. “Peggy?”

“James? Is that you?” Peggy’s voice was raspy and nearly inaudible, as she lay in her bed, looking frail and exhausted.

“It’s me.” Bucky sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand over Peggy’s.

“I want to thank you. You’ve treated me so well all these years.” She struggled to turn her hand over, so Bucky lifted it into his own.

“You’re welcome, Peggy. I’ve been honored to be your CNA, I hope I can continue earning your praise.” Bucky smiled softly, meaning every word.

“I don’t think it will be much longer now.” Peggy stated hoarsely. When Bucky opened his mouth to argue, she cut him off. “I need your help, one last time.”

Bucky swallowed thickly. “Of course, whatever you need.”

“Could you-” She stopped to take several deep breaths before continuing. “Write a letter for me?”

Bucky nodded, afraid if he spoke he’d begin crying. He went to her nightstand and retrieved a pad of paper and pen from inside, then resumed his place on the bed. When he looked up at her, she had a wisp of a smile on her face. “You’ll be okay, James.”

Nodding again, Bucky sniffled loudly, returning her smile the best he could. “I think I will be, too.” Putting pen to paper, Bucky nodded. “What would you like me to write?”

*

A half hour later, Bucky was calling Steve, anxiously tapping his foot as the line rang. He began to worry Steve wouldn’t answer when he finally picked up.

“ _ Hello? _ ”

“Hey, Steve, are you free to make a visit?” Bucky tried to hide the emotion in his voice but he knew it still seeped through.

After a brief pause, Steve replied. “ _ Yeah, of course. I’ll be right over. _ ”

“Okay, see you soon.” Bucky ended the call and began taking long, deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves.

When Steve arrived just fifteen minutes later, Bucky greeted him in the lobby. Steve’s lips were pressed tightly together, and his eyes darted around, avoiding Bucky’s gaze.

“How is she?” He asked anxiously, finally looking up.

“She asked to see you,” Bucky told him, softly.

After a brief pause, Steve nodded, and held out his hand. “Can you walk with me?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Bucky took Steve’s hand and led him down the corridor to Peggy’s room.

Neither of them spoke until they reached her door. Steve looked into Bucky’s eyes, giving his hand a small squeeze. “Thank you,” He whispered, before entering the room.

*

“I’m heading out now, Bucky.” Diana grabbed her keys off of the coffee table and planted a kiss on Bucky’s cheek. “If you need to talk or anything, just call me.”

“I’m not going to call you while you're out with your mom and aunt,” Bucky huffed, slinking down into the couch further. 

Diana crossed her arms. “I’ll stay home, then.”

“Oh my God, okay! Fine, I’ll call you if I need… anything.” Bucky scowled once Diana turned towards the door.

“I’m sure.” She looked over her shoulder, rolling her eyes at him. “I’m serious though, I don’t want to come home to find you crying into your seventh pint of Ben & Jerry’s.”

Bucky got up and went to Diana, pulling her into a hug. “I know, and I promise, I’ll call if I start having a meltdown, or whatever it is you think I’m going to do.”

Giving his arm a gentle punch, Diana cupped Bucky’s face in her hands. “I know you’re strong, but I can’t help worrying about you. Everyone needs to break down sometimes.”

When Bucky didn’t respond, Diana gave a sad smile and hugged him once more. She grabbed her purse and headed out the door, leaving Bucky alone for the night.

An hour later, Bucky tossed his book to the end of the couch, frustrated that he’d spent the past sixty minutes re-reading the same four pages over and over again. Bucky tried, but he couldn’t quiet his mind down enough to absorb any of the story, his thoughts kept returning to Steve. He decided that the silence definitely wasn’t helping, and put on a movie to watch.

Just as  _ Splash  _ was beginning, his phone rang. Sighing, Bucky paused the movie and checked the caller ID, a feeling of dread washing over him when he saw that it was work. “Hello?” He answered, already biting his bottom lip nervously.

“ _ Hi, Bucky, it’s Claire.” _

Bucky closed his eyes and tilted his head back. There was only one reason why his boss would be calling him this late at night. “Is everything okay?”

Claire sighed. “ _ I’m afraid not. Peggy passed away about a half hour ago, Bucky.” _

“Oh,” He breathed, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “I-I’ll call Steve-”

_ “Mr. Rogers has already been notified.” _ When Bucky didn’t respond, Claire added,  _ “I’m so sorry, I know you and Peggy were close.” _

“Yeah, she was a great woman. Thanks for calling,” Bucky didn’t even bother trying to cover the sadness in his voice. He knew Claire, of all people, understood what this kind of loss felt like.

“ _ Take care of yourself, Bucky. _ ”

They said their goodbyes and ended the call, leaving Bucky staring at his phone as a flurry of emotions bombarded him. Peggy Carter, one of the most incredible women that had ever lived, was gone. And Steve… he was alone, dealing with the loss of the most important person in his life. Bucky didn’t know what to do. He desperately wanted to call Steve, but what if Steve didn’t want to talk to him? Even worse, what if Steve  _ wanted _ to talk to him, and Bucky  _ didn’t _ call? 

His finger hovered over Steve’s number, and just as he was about to tap it, there was a loud, urgent knock at this door. Nearly dropping his phone in surprise, Bucky cursed in frustration, checking the time; it was quarter to eleven. Frowning, he got off of the couch and walked toward the door, swinging it open, fully prepared to yell at whoever was still banging on it. He wasn’t expecting who he saw standing on the other side.

“ _ Steve? _ ” Bucky looked him up and down, and saw that he was only wearing a pair of teal and grey pajama pants. Even his feet were bare and Bucky wondered if Steve had actually run over.

“Buck-” Before he managed to say any more, Steve broke down in tears and collapsed onto his knees.

Immediately, Bucky crouched down and pulled Steve into his arms. “I’m here,” he whispered over and over, feeling his own tears begin to spill over. After a moment, he realized that the doorway wasn’t a great spot for them to be, and wordlessly pulled Steve up and over to the couch. Bucky continued holding him, pressing his lips to Steve’s head as he sobbed, but remaining silent. 

Bucky knew that words couldn’t help him then. Steve was now the only person alive from his time and Bucky couldn’t even begin to imagine how that felt. He remembered what Peggy had told him, though, and he repeated the words to himself.  _ You can’t understand the loneliness. But you can help him live with it. Help him feel more than that ceaseless ache in his heart _ . He pulled Steve closer, and closed his eyes.

*

When Bucky blinked open his eyes, Diana was standing in front of the couch, smiling softly at him. He didn’t remember falling asleep and after a brief moment, he realized that Steve was snuggled up against his chest, a blanket now covering both of them. Bucky mouthed  _ thank you _ to Diana and she nodded before heading to her bedroom, the door clicking shut gently behind her.

Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair, lightly pressing a kiss to his forehead. He allowed himself to rest his head on Steve’s, and fell back asleep.

*

The next thing Bucky knew, he was nearly falling off of the couch. Grasping at whatever he could, he felt Steve take hold of him and pulled him back up. Bucky let out an embarrassing squawk of surprise, staring at Steve and trying to collect himself; it was then that he recalled the previous night. Steve’s eyes were wide, and he quickly stood, almost toppling over as the blanket wrapped around his legs.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Steve sounded almost panicked and it caught Bucky off guard.

“It’s not a problem, I didn’t mind,” He whispered.

“I shouldn’t have come over so late. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Steve scrubbed both hands over his face, taking several steps toward the door. “You didn’t deserve that, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait.” Bucky stood and grabbed hold of Steve’s hand. “Stop. I said I don’t mind, and I mean it. You’re welcome here anytime.”

Steve shook his head. “I can get by on my own, Buck.”

“The thing is, you don’t  _ have _ to.” Bucky took both of Steve’s hands in his own, and pulled him into his arms. “I’m with you until the end of the line.”

A choked sob spilled out and Steve embraced Bucky tightly, allowing himself to let go. “She’s gone, she’s really gone.”

Bucky bit down on his lip until it hurt, swallowing around the lump forming in his throat. “I’m so sorry, Steve.” 

They remained standing while Bucky held Steve and rocked him slowly. He didn’t speak, simply allowed Steve to cry, to grieve; Bucky knew it was the only way to begin to heal.

“Sh-she left me a letter.” Steve lifted his blotchy, tear stained face to look at Bucky. “I couldn’t bring myself to even open it. Do you think you could… read it for me?”

“Yeah.” Bucky cupped Steve’s cheek for a moment, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb before dropping his hand. “I can do that.”

Steve pulled the letter out of his pajama pants pocket and seemed to suddenly realize what he was wearing. When he looked at Bucky, his cheeks were tinted with a blush. “Sorry,” He mumbled, handing the crumpled piece envelope

“Don’t worry about it.” Bucky gave a small smile and sat on the couch, Steve quickly followed suit. Bucky opened the envelope and cleared his throat before beginning. 

_ Steve, _

_ There are some things I want you to know, now that I’m no longer here for you to disagree with. You have the chance to live the life you truly want: a life as Steve Rogers. Just because you’ve been bestowed with the title of Captain America doesn’t make you unworthy of happiness  _ or _ love. Whatever the world thinks it knows about you is irrelevant. Don’t let the prejudices of the past keep you from finding the right partner. Someone that will want you just as you are. Allow yourself to love, Steve. Allow yourself to  _ be _ loved. You deserve it.  _

_This is our_ _final goodbye, Steve. But, sometimes, my dear, goodbye is a second chance._

_ Your friend always, _

_ Peggy  _

When Bucky finally looked up, he saw that a steady flow of tears were streaming down Steve’s cheeks. He wanted to pull Steve into his arms, to hold him and to make all of the hurt inside of him disappear. Watching Steve experience so much pain felt unbearable.

Steve wiped his face with his hands and sniffled loudly. “Thank you, Bucky, for everything.” He stood then and Bucky quickly followed suit, worrying that Steve was leaving for good. Peggy was gone now, and he wondered if he would just be a constant reminder to Steve of what he’d lost; the thought made Bucky’s stomach drop. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off as Steve pulled him into a gentle hug, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s back and shoulders. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” He said quietly, “but I need some time.”

Bucky nodded his head against Steve’s neck, his own arms embracing Steve’s solid body. “Okay,” He croaked. “I’ll be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :(


	10. Set The Night on Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wounds are healed. Communication is had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be completely honest with you guys; I'm really struggling to finish the last two chapters of this fic, and I feel terrible about it. I will be trying my hardest to complete them on time, but if there is an issue, I will make a post on Twitter with the expected due date.

The next day, the loss of Peggy could be felt throughout the care facility, it was as though a dark cloud had settled above them all. An influx of new residents kept Bucky busy, though, and he considered it a blessing; the more he worked, the less time he had to dwell on everything that had happened. Luis sat with him every day during lunch, chattering on about his cousin’s neighbor’s friend’s mother, or any other number of long distant acquaintances he had, and Bucky appreciated him for it. 

Diana, who knew Bucky like the back of her hand, did her best to keep him busy. Every morning before work she would drag Bucky to Themyscira, and despite his constant complaining, Bucky found that the workouts  _ did _ help. It helped to quiet the nagging voice inside his head, constantly telling him Steve had no intention of continuing to see him, that he wasn’t good enough. 

One morning, as Bucky sat at the kitchen table, phone in hand and munching on a protein bar, he froze when he came across an article about Peggy. He couldn’t help but skim over it and though he wasn’t surprised to read about Steve’s relationship with her, it still stung. It wasn’t fair for Peggy, an incredibly brave and intelligent woman, to only be remembered as Captain America’s best gal. It wasn’t fair to Steve, who was so much more than just the first Avenger, to have to live his life in the glorified bubble that the world had put him in. They both deserved better.

*

When Bucky finally got his lunch break on Friday, he nearly stumbled over his feet when he saw Steve standing in the lobby, an iced caramel frappuccino in hand and a shy smile on his face.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky blurted out.

“Sorry.” Steve suddenly looked worried. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have just shown up. I’ll go.”

“No! Wait-” Bucky placed his hand on Steve’s arm. “I didn’t mean- I’m just surprised to see you. I’m glad, though.”

“Yeah?” Steve blushed.

“Of course.” Smiling brightly, Bucky glanced down at the iced coffee in Steve’s hand.

“Oh, uh, this is for you.” Steve thrust the cup into Bucky’s hand awkwardly.

“Thank you, Steve.” Bucky took a long sip and couldn’t help moan at how good it tasted.

With his cheeks burning even brighter, Steve coughed into his fist. “Good?”

“Very.”

An awkward silence settled between them and it ate at Bucky.  _ Why was this suddenly so difficult? _ But before he could speak up, Steve cleared his throat.

“I was wondering if we could talk?” He asked, neither his tone or expression giving away what he was thinking. 

Bucky swallowed thickly and nodded. “Sure, let’s go outside.”

They walked silently to the garden and once they took their seats at their usual bench, Bucky was sure his heart was going to pound right out of his chest.

“I’ve spent most of the week reading and re-reading Peggy’s letter,” Steve spoke slowly at first. “She’s right, of course, I’m still letting things from my past dictate how I live, and I don’t want to keep doing that.” Cautiously, he took Bucky’s hand in his own. “I won’t find the life I want in the past. I won’t find  _ you _ there.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I mean, I want you in my life; to  _ stay _ in my life.” He then quickly added, “I mean, in whatever capacity you’d be comfortable with, if at all. I just- I don’t-”

“Steve,” Bucky cut off his nervous rambling and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?” Steve breathed, a cautious smile forming on his face. 

“Yeah.” Bucky couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “I want you in my life, too. You’re pretty great, you know?”

Steve blushed to the tips of his ears and attempted to compose himself before sitting up straighter. “Um, would you be… I mean, do you want to… I don’t know, maybe go to dinner with me sometime?”

A warmth bloomed inside of Bucky’s chest and he felt almost giddy. “Are you asking me out on a date?” He teased.

Chuckling at himself, Steve rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I am. I’d like to date you, Bucky.”

A small gasp escaped Bucky. While he knew going on a date might lead to actual dating, hearing Steve actually  _ say _ those words was overwhelming. When he saw how Steve’s eyes widened in response, Bucky was quick to reassure him. “I’d love to date you.” He smiled brightly. 

“Great!” Steve exclaimed happily, and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. “Does… Does this mean we’re, um,  _ boyfriends _ ?”

“If that’s what you want, it would be my pleasure.” His cheeks ached as his smile widened but Bucky didn’t care. 

“Yeah, that’s what I want more than anything.” Steve’s bashful smile was beautiful, and Bucky quickly pecked him on the lips.

“Awesome. I gotta get back to work, but text me when and where you want to go out.” Bucky stood, and Steve followed him back inside.

“I will.”

Before he even reached the employee lounge, Bucky felt his phone buzzing; it was a text from Steve.

_ Steve: Picking you up on Sunday, 7pm _

*

At 6:30pm, Bucky found himself anxiously pacing up and down the walkway of his apartment. Diana had told him, repeatedly, that Steve should come to the door to pick him up, but Bucky needed the fresh air. He also needed to try and walk off his nervous energy. Bucky wasn’t sure why he was on edge, he’d spent plenty of time with Steve, Hell, they’d already had sex.  _ Twice _ . This date, though, was their first time together as an official couple. Would things be different now? Would Steve expect more from him? Would Bucky have to sign a non-disclosure agreement?

Just as his thoughts were spiraling into the depths of paranoia, the sound of a motorcycle pulled Bucky back to the present. When he saw Steve pulling up to the sidewalk, his jaw dropped, Steve looked damn good on that bike.

“Hey, Bucky.” Steve smiled at him brightly

“Hi,” Bucky breathed, giving an awkward wave.

“You ready?” Steve handed Bucky a helmet when he nodded.

Once in place, Bucky climbed onto the motorcycle and wrapped his arms around Steve. He had missed having Steve this close, and he sighed in contentment. Before he could ask where they were going, Steve was pulling back into the street.

After just fifteen minutes, they were climbing off of the motorcycle in the parking lot of a quaint building, bright neon lights announcing that they were at  _ Daisy’s Diner.  _ Steve looked at Bucky nervously, biting his lip. “Is this alright?” 

“Of course it is.” Bucky pecked him on the cheek quickly. 

Steve ducked his head, his cheeks tinted pink, but gave a relieved smile. “I’ve never been here but a good friend suggested it.” He placed his hand on the small of Bucky’s back and led him to the entrance.

A woman in a pink poodle skirt happily welcomed them. “Welcome to Daisy’s, come right this way!” She seated them at a booth before handing them menus. “My name is Angie and I’ll be your waitress for the evening. What can I get you boys to drink?”

Steve looked at Bucky almost expectantly, so he quickly replied. “I’ll have a chocolate milkshake, please.”

“Strawberry milkshake for me, ma’am.”

“Two milkshakes comin’ right up.” Angie headed back behind the counter, and Bucky was surprised to see that she was making their milkshakes by hand. 

“Wow, this place is really authentic.”

“Yeah, I figured since neither of us were around in the fifties, this would be a new experience for the both of us.” Steve blushed, as though self conscious of his reasoning, and Bucky couldn’t have that.

“This is great, I couldn’t have picked a better place. Thank you, Steve.” Bucky nudged his foot against Steve’s, smiling.

“I’m glad,” Steve answered, before slowly extending his hand across the table. Without hesitating, Bucky took hold of it.

Angie returned a moment later, placing their milkshakes on the table. “So, what would you boys like to eat this evening?”

After they placed their orders, Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand. “Tell me about yourself.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “Pretty sure you already know it all, being as it’s public knowledge.”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah, I want to hear about the real you, not the polished half truths written by strangers.”

Watching Steve’s expression morph into one of unexpected joy warmed Bucky’s heart in ways he’d never felt before. 

“Well,” Steve began, “I liked to draw, and found an easy way to get paid for doing it.”

“Oh?” Bucky watched as a devious smirk formed on Steve’s face, and he couldn’t wait to hear more.

“Yeah, got a job doing illustrations for blue books.” Steve was almost giddy in telling his story.

“Blue books?” Bucky tilted his head.

“Tijuana bibles,” Steve replied, laughing as Bucky furrowed his brows. “Porn, Buck. I drew porn.”

“Oh my God.” Bucky burst out laughing, not caring that several patrons turned to look at him. “That’s definitely something not posted at the Smithonian. I love it, tell me more.”

The rest of the evening continued on, just as lighthearted and fun, both swapping stories and anecdotes until their plates and glasses were empty. Bucky couldn’t remember having ever had such an enjoyable date, and his cheeks hurt from smiling. Steve was quick witted and had a wicked sense of humor; Bucky would never forget nearly laughing out of his seat when he learned what  _ lay some pipe _ and  _ way down south in Dixie  _ meant. 

*

The next two weeks were like an extended dream for Bucky. Steve took him out on several more dates, to a picnic at Central Park, the New York Aquarium, and places Bucky never knew he wanted to visit. 

Of course, there were times when fans would approach Steve, asking for photos or autographs, and while Bucky felt more at ease with it, Steve would politely decline every time. When Bucky asked him about it, Steve had told him, “when I’m with you, I don’t want any distractions,” and damn if that didn’t go straight to his dick. At the end of each date, Steve would drop Bucky off at his apartment, give a kiss goodnight and then head home. While he understood Steve was trying to be a gentleman, wanting to properly court him, Bucky always found himself trying not to beg for Steve to stay and fuck him.

*

It was Friday night and Bucky was trying on his fifth outfit. Steve had invited him to dinner at his place at Stark Tower, and Bucky was both excited and nervous. He couldn’t help but worry about Tony seeing him again. Bucky hadn’t told Steve about the encounter, feeling both guilty and ashamed to admit he’d been threatened by the man. Mostly, he didn’t want to bad mouth one of Steve’s friends; would Steve even believe him?

Shaking himself internally, Bucky finally decided on a black button up shirt and his favorite dark wash jeans (that just happened to hug him in all the right places, or so Diana had told him). He then headed for the door to retrieve his shoes, and as he was tying the laces, a loud knock startled him, enough so that he nearly fell over. Diana laughed as she walked up beside him and smirked. “I’ll get it.”

When Bucky finally stood, he saw that a man in a very crisp suit stood in the doorway. Diana scowled, looking from the man to Bucky. 

“Mr. Barnes, I presume?” The man inquired, and Bucky nodded slowly. “I’m Happy, I was sent by Mr. Rogers to drive you.”

“Aww!” Diana squealed, “that is so sweet!” She gave Bucky a light shove towards the door. “Get going, don’t keep your man waiting.” 

Blushing furiously, Bucky huffed indignantly at his roommate before following Happy down to a shiny, black town car that was parked in front of the building. 

Happy opened the back door for him then. “Here you are, Mr. Barnes.” 

“Oh, uh, thank you.” Bucky fidgeted for a moment before sliding into the car and buckling up.

In (what felt like) no time at all, they were pulling up beside the tower, and Bucky gulped back his nerves. Happy opened his door, allowing Bucky to step out, before giving him a key card. “Use this in the elevator and it’ll take you right to Mr. Rogers’ floor. Have a good night, sir.”

“Um, okay, thank you.” Bucky watched him get back into the car and drive off, leaving Bucky to look over the gold and silver key card in his hand.

Taking one more deep breath, Bucky headed into the tower, all but sprinting toward the elevator and doing as Happy had instructed. He wasn’t sure why he was so unnerved, they’d been on several dates already, this wasn’t something new. Although, this  _ was _ their first date at Steve’s place; in fact, Bucky hadn’t been there since their hook up, all those weeks ago. Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

When the doors of the elevator opened, Steve was standing in front of him, a bouquet of roses and baby’s breaths in his hands. For a moment, Bucky allowed himself to look over Steve’s body; he wore comfortable looking jeans and a white, long sleeved shirt. 

“I’m overdressed,” Bucky groaned in embarrassment.

Chuckling, Steve took Bucky’s hand and pulled him forward. “You look incredible, doll.”

Bucky’s eyes shot up, meeting Steve’s, and saw a flirtatious smirk playing at his lips.  _ Well, two can play at this game _ , he thought to himself. Taking the flowers from Steve, Bucky smelled them and sighed happily. 

“Thank you.” Slowly, he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, keeping his eyes on Steve. 

In return, Steve blatantly watched Bucky’s mouth, inhaling sharply before clearing his throat. “I made dinner.” He gestured to the dining table and Bucky laughed out loud when he saw boxes of take-out placed on, what looked to be, incredibly expensive crystal plates.

“Ever the gentleman.” Bucky pulled him into a soft kiss, intending for it to be chaste and brief, but quickly became heated. When he felt his dick perking up, Bucky pulled back. “We can- we can go slow, I don’t mind.”

Giving a fond smile, Steve cupped Bucky’s cheek. “You’re so sweet to me, baby,” He whispered. “But I want to fuck you so bad.”

The whimper that clawed its way out of Bucky’s throat would have been embarrassing under different circumstances, but at that moment he found that he didn’t care in the least. It seemed to be exactly what Steve wanted to hear, too, as he took the bouquet and carelessly dropped them; he then lifted Bucky under his thighs and carried him to the bedroom.

Unceremoniously, Steve dropped Bucky on to the bed and immediately pulled his shirt off; the rest of his clothes quickly followed suit. Gaping at the sudden turn of events, Bucky could only stare in amazement at seeing Steve’s ridiculously perfect body again.

“I need you to at least take off your pants for this to work.” Steve grinned, and Bucky could only laugh.

“Just taking in the view.” Bucky swiftly disrobed and lay down.

Steve crawled on top of him and began kissing and nipping down his body. “I can’t wait to see what you look like with my cock inside of you, been thinking about it for  _ weeks _ .” 

“Oh, fuck,” Bucky groaned, spreading his legs. “Wanna feel your fat cock in me, Stevie.”

“I’m gonna take real good care of you tonight, Buck, give you everything you need.” Steve continued down his body until he reached Bucky’s erection. 

Without a word, Steve swallowed him down, and Bucky all but howled in surprise. It took no time at all before he was a writhing mess, gripping tightly onto the sheets and gasping out Steve's name in between curses. When he felt his orgasm building, an embarrassingly short time later, Bucky tapped Steve’s shoulder. 

“S-stop,” He begged, and Steve instantly sat up.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” 

Huffing out a laugh, Bucky smiled shyly. “Nothing’s wrong, just, uh… getting close.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow at him. “That’s kind of the whole point.” 

“Yeah, I want to come on your cock, though.” Bucky bit his bottom lip.

“Oh, baby,” Steve cooed, “you’re definitely going to come on my cock. But only  _ after  _ I make you come down my throat.”

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Bucky breathed out harshly. “Okay, yeah.”

Dipping down between Bucky’s legs again, Steve resumed his ministrations. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut as his jaw went slack; only moments later, he was coming. Steve swallowed down every drop, and only released Bucky’s cock when he whimpered at the oversensitivity. 

Steve slid his way back up Bucky’s body, pulling him into a deep kiss, and Bucky couldn’t help but moan at the taste of himself in Steve’s mouth.

“Roll over for me, doll,” Steve whispered against Bucky’s lips, making him shiver.

Sluggishly, Bucky rolled over onto his stomach, pulling a pillow under his head. The feeling of Steve slowly kissing and licking down his back had Bucky’s skin breaking out in goosebumps. “ _ Stevie _ ,” He moaned softly.

“I’ve got you,” Steve assured, nuzzling his face between Bucky’s ass cheeks. “I want to taste you everywhere,” He hesitated for a moment, and Bucky craned his head to look back at him. Steve’s eyes were trained on his face. “Would you like that?”

Huffing out an incredulous laugh, Bucky wiggled his hips. “I would very much like that. Wanna feel you inside me.”

“Mmm.” Steve spread Bucky’s cheeks then. “I can’t wait to lick you open, get you nice and wet for my cock.”

“ _ Ohmygod _ ,” The words tumbled out of him, Bucky still couldn’t get over Steve’s filthy mouth; it was beyond arousing. Knowing these words were just for him, that he had earned the right to experience this side of Steve, made him feel slightly overwhelmed as he felt his chest tighten.

Any further thoughts that Bucky may have had on the subject were quickly dashed, as Steve ducked down and licked a wide stripe across his hole. From there on, Steve was relentless; licking, sucking, prodding, and even kissing Bucky open. He’d never been rimmed so enthusiastically in his life, and Bucky loved every second of it. Steve was moaning, as though he was the one on the receiving end, and it turned Bucky on even more. In what may have been record time, Bucky felt his erection returning, and couldn’t help but grind down against the mattress.

Steve then reached over him and grabbed the bottle of lube sitting on the bedside table. At the sound of the cap opening, Bucky began feeling ridiculously giddy at the thought that Steve’s cock would soon be inside of him.

“Can you get on your knees for me, baby?” Steve’s voice was sugar sweet, and Bucky did as he was asked. “God damn, you have the most incredible ass, I can’t wait to get my cock in you.” Steve rasped.

“I want it,  _ please, _ ” Bucky pleaded, wiggling his hips again.

Suddenly two thick fingers were pushing into him, and Bucky let out a loud moan. Steve seemed to be struggling to keep his movements gentle, but when he felt Bucky pushing back on his fingers, he quickly picked up the pace. In no time at all, Bucky had three digits in him and his thighs began to quiver.

“You ready for my cock?” Steve asked, slowing his motions.

“‘M so ready,” Bucky quickly answered. 

Without warning, Steve rolled Bucky onto his back, making him yelp in surprise. “Sorry,” Steve murmured before leaning down to kiss him softly. “I want to see your face when you come on my cock.”

Bucky cursed under his breath and could only nod in response. At that, he took hold of the back of his knees and pulled his legs back, spreading them obscenely. Steve had an almost predatorial smirk on his face, and ran his hands down the back of Bucky’s thighs.

“Gonna fill you up so good, Buck.”

Steve then thoroughly covered his cock with lube before lining himself up with Bucky’s hole, nudging at it teasingly. “C’mon,  _ give it to me _ ,” Bucky whined desperately.

“Okay, baby,” Steve answered softly. Then, he was pushing inside, his thick cock breaching Bucky’s entrance. “Oh, doll, you’re  _ so _ fucking tight for me.”

When Bucky flinched at the slight burn, Steve immediately stilled. “‘S okay,” Bucky tried to reassure but could hear his voice waver. “Just… it’s been a while.”

“God damnit, Buck,” Steve groaned loudly. “Been waiting for my cock, huh?”

“ _ Yes, _ ” Bucky hissed, as the pain quickly turned into pleasure. “Just for you, it’s all for you. Want you to take what’s yours, Stevie.”

Steve dropped down onto his forearms and pulled Bucky into a fierce kiss. As their lips slid together, Steve carefully pushed the rest of the way in, his jaw going slack. He dipped his face against Bucky’s neck, kissing and sucking, as he awaited permission to move. It didn’t take long before Bucky felt more than ready, and undulated his hips, moaning as Steve’s cock ground into him. 

Taking the hint, Steve looked into his eyes and pulled back, inch by inch until just the head was stretching Bucky’s rim, then pushed back in. He did this until Bucky thought he would go mad with want, and Steve seemed to know exactly what he was doing to Bucky, giving a sly smirk. “I’ll give you whatever you need, you just have to tell me,” He purred.

“Harder, need it harder,” Bucky begged, wrapping his legs tightly around Steve’s waist.

Growling, Steve did as he promised and slammed into Bucky’s eager hole. He Bucky into his arms and held him against his chest, grunting with every thrust. Neither could spare the breath for words, instead the room was an orchestra of moans, panting, and skin slapping skin. 

Time ceased to exist, and Bucky wanted it to last forever, to always have this feeling of being completely full, being taken care of, being…  _ loved? _

“Got me so close, gonna make me come,” Steve grunted and huffed, licking up a bead of sweat that formed in the hollow of Bucky’s throat.

“Do it, come in me, I wanna feel it.” Bucky kissed him again, although it quickly became panting into one another’s mouths.

“Oh, baby, I-” Before Steve could finish, his body froze and his mouth dropped open into a silent shout. Then, Bucky could feel it, Steve’s cock pulsing inside of him, spilling his release deep with his body. 

The sensation pushed him over the edge and Bucky’s climax washed over him, ribbons of come splashing across his abdomen. Steve watched, enthralled, as Bucky’s face contorted into a display of pleasure and ecstasy. When his orgasm finally began to ebb, Bucky smiled warmly at Steve, who leaned down and kissed him softly. 

It was the sound of Bucky’s grumbling stomach that finally forced them apart, both grinning and chuckling.

“We should go eat,” Steve suggested, nuzzling Bucky’s neck with his nose. “But first, I think a shower is in order.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow and smirked when Steve lifted his head. “You really are the star spangled man with a plan.”

“ _ Ohmygod _ ,” Steve groaned, his face burning fire engine red. “That title is so awful.”

Laughing, Bucky leaned up and gave Steve a peck on the lips. “It really is,” He hummed in agreement. 

In the shower, Bucky realized Steve was already hard again and jerked him off until he was coming again. Steve leaned against the glass shower wall and took a deep breath, pulling Bucky into a hug. “You always make me feel so good, Buck. I love- I love it.”

After devouring the Indian food that Steve had ordered, they both collapsed into bed together. As they held each other close, Bucky found that he couldn’t quite explain the feeling of warmth and contentment and… _something else_ , that settled in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes up for the sad feels in the previous chapter <3


	11. If You Want Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is caught off guard by Steve, more than once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shout out to my awesome pal, Amy, I couldn't have finished this chapter without her! <3
> 
> (This chapter is not fully beta'd)

As Bucky stepped out of the elevator, Steve followed suit and pulled him into a gentle hug. Bucky allowed himself to melt against Steve’s warm body, sighing in contentment. 

“Text me when you get home?” Steve asked, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s lips.

“Yeah, of course.” Bucky smiled and reluctantly ended the hug. 

Giving his signature dorky wave, Bucky turned and began walking toward the doors. He heard the elevator door _swoosh_ open, and it took all of his willpower not to run back to Steve. Instead, he took a deep breath and continued on his way. Bucky was nearly out of the building when he heard someone approaching him.

“Barnes!”

Bucky stopped in his tracks and turned slowly, the sight of Tony Stark made the blood drain from his face. He’d nearly forgotten about Tony, and the things he’d said, the things he’d _threatened_. Unmoving, Bucky waited until Tony was only feet away before acknowledging him. “Stark.”

“ _I told you_ ,” He hissed angrily, “I told you what would happen if you kept it up with Rogers. Or do you not care?” When Bucky didn’t respond, Tony took another step forward. “There will be serious repercussions if the world finds out about this little affair of yours. Do you want to be the reason Captain America goes down-”

_“Tony!”_ Steve barked, startling both men. “What the hell do you mean by _you told him_? Did you threaten Bucky?”

Tony’s eyes widened for a moment but he quickly schooled his expression, giving an audacious smile as he patted Steve on the shoulder jovially, but Steve pulled away. “C’mon now, Cap, you know I’m just looking out for you.” 

“How is threatening my boyfriend _looking out for me?_ ” He snapped.

Tony rolled his eyes, his mouth twisting into a scowl. “You’re Captain America, Rogers, and that means keeping an appropriate reputation. This guy,” Tony gestured to Bucky, “I guarantee is going to take you down in a ball of flames. For crying out loud, if people knew you were sleeping around, having a _fling_ with some nurse that took care of Peggy-”

Steve grabbed the front of Tony’s shirt and pulled him in until their faces were only inches apart. “Don’t you dare pull Peggy into this, she wanted me to be happy, and I am. I don’t give a damn about my _reputation_ or what the public thinks of me. Bucky isn’t just some fling, and I would give up the shield in a heartbeat for the man I love.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped, and by the equally shocked expression on Tony’s face, he was just as surprised by Steve’s sudden confession. It seemed to take only a moment longer before Steve seemed to realize what he’d said, and released Tony as though he’d been burned. 

“Steve,” Bucky nearly choked out, as the silence became unbearable.

“I- Buck, I’m… I didn’t-” Steve cut himself off, looking almost frantic with his eyes darting between the floor and Bucky’s face.

“Do… do you really love me?” Bucky asked cautiously, fearful of what the answer might be. It was possible Steve was simply caught up in the moment, just spouting in anger at Stark. 

Steve’s face flushed slightly but he quickly squared his shoulders and clenched his jaw. “I do, Bucky, I love you. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.” He glared daggers in Tony’s direction. “But it’s the truth. I understand if you feel it’s too soon to be making such declarations, or if… if you don’t feel the same way.”

Bucky felt like his heart was going to pound its way out of his chest, and speaking was suddenly very difficult. In response, he did the only thing he could; he took hold of Steve’s face and pulled him in for a deep kiss. When they separated, Tony was nowhere to be found.

“I love you, too, Steve,” Bucky said softly, lips only a hair's breadth away from Steve’s. 

The sound of someone clapping their hands startled them both as they jumped apart. Bucky felt his cheeks burning before he even spotted their spectator. When he did, he felt fairly certain that he would burst into flames any second; it was the Black Widow.

“Glad to see my suggestions helped you get your man, Steve.” She smirked, and approached them. “I’m Natasha, and, hopefully, you’re Bucky.”

Bucky quickly glanced in Steve’s direction and was surprised to see the soft smile adorning his face. Shaking himself internally, Bucky extended his hand to Natasha and she slowly reciprocated. “I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, Steve, you bagged a good one,” Natasha purred, shaking Bucky’s hand.

Putting an arm around Bucky’s waist, Steve nodded. "I did, I really did." 

*

“Thanks, my dude.” Luis grabbed hold of a beer as Bucky placed the tray of drinks on their table. 

“Luis told us you've been walking around with little heart eyes all week.” Barry grinned, looking between Luis and Arthur before glancing Bucky’s way.

Bucky blushed and tried to scowl, but couldn’t stop the shy smile that crept onto his face. “You guys are too nosey.”

“I think old Bucky bear here got laid.” Arthur nudged Luis knowingly.

“Think what you want.” Bucky finally sat beside his friends, shaking his head in faux annoyance. 

“He does have that glow,” Barry piped in. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“I think I can guess who.” Arthur winked conspiratorially at him.

Bucky froze; he hadn’t told anyone about his relationship with Steve, yet. Diana knew, of course, but only because she had an inexplicable way of getting the truth out of Bucky. Steve may have said he didn’t care about his public persona, but over the past week, he’d only visited Bucky twice, each time apologizing for his absence. Bucky was acutely aware that Steve never told him the reason _why_ he was gone so often, but refused to ask; if he wanted Bucky to know, Steve would tell him. He tried to shrug it off, knowing that Steve had a job that was wildly unpredictable. It did sting, though. What if Steve was already having second thoughts about their relationship? It was possible Tony’s advice finally sunk in, and Steve-

“Bucky?” Barry snapped his fingers in front of Bucky’s face, looking concerned. “You kinda spaced out there for a minute. Everything okay?”

“Um, yeah,” Bucky lied with a smile. “I was just thinking about getting something to eat. I’ll be right back.” Scooting out of his chair, Bucky made a beeline for the bar, ordering jalapeno poppers. As soon as they arrived, he tossed one into his mouth, trying to clear his mind as the heat of the pepper burned down his throat.

Suddenly, Bucky felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and quickly retrieved it; only one person actually _called_ him instead of texting.

“Hello?” He answered.

“ _Hey, Buck, how are you?”_ Steve asked, sounding exhausted.

“I’m doing alright, just hanging out with the guys at The Salty Cup.” Bucky tossed another popper into his mouth. “You?”

“ _I’m good, was just going over some plans with the team, I-_ ” Steve let out a long yawn before he could finish.

Bucky chuckled. “What are you doing up? Go get some sleep, hon.”

“I will, just wanted to ask you something real-” Another yawn. “Real quick.”

“Okay, ask away, then get to bed.”

“Are you, um, free Saturday?” Steve stuttered out.

“Yeah, everything okay?” Bucky asked cautiously.

“Everything’s fine,” He reassured, “I wanted to take you out.”

Bucky felt his eyebrows quirk up in response. Why would Steve be nervous about a date?

“That sounds great.” After taking a sip of his beer, he decided not to ask, and went on. “What time?”

“How’s 7 o’clock?” 

“Perfect.” Bucky couldn’t stop himself from grinning, just thinking about spending time with Steve.

“Good, I’ll see you then, babe.”

Once the call had ended, Bucky returned to sit with his friends, a soft smile on his face.

“Talking to lover boy?” Arthur smirked and winked.

“If you must know,” Bucky began, taking a long pull of his beer, watching as his friends all leaned forward excitedly. “Too bad.”

“Aye! Get it, Barnes!” Luis, ever the optimist, cheered, while Arthur and Barry groaned in disappointment. “That reminds me! My sister’s dog groomer’s uncle-in-law told her that his best friend’s cousin-”

As Luis went on, Bucky smiled at his pals, grateful to have them. He knew, when the time was right, they’d support his relationship with Steve.

*

Bucky looked down at the text from Steve one last time, reading the address to the restaurant, along with the short message: _wear a tie._ Warily, he approached, eyeing the building up and down; it was incredibly fancy. Which meant everything was going to be mind blowingly expensive. 

After making sure his tie was on straight, Bucky pulled the door open and stepped inside; he was shocked by what he saw. Sitting at a large round table in the middle of the dining area was Steve, but he wasn’t alone. The Avengers were sitting with him, all chatting and smiling, seemingly oblivious to Bucky’s entrance. When he spotted Tony Stark talking to Steve, Bucky’s stomach dropped. This couldn’t be good.

“Bucky Barnes!” Hawkeye shouted, waving enthusiastically. 

The Hulk, Black Widow, Thor, and Iron Man all turned to stare at him. Bucky could feel his entire body begin to flush as he stood frozen in place.

“Buck,” Steve’s soft voice was like a salve on a burn, and Bucky smiled weakly as Steve stood and approached him. “Hey, how are you, hon?”

“Um, uh-” Bucky muttered, still in shock by the unexpected group gathering. When Steve leaned in to hug and _kiss_ him on the mouth, Bucky was sure he had to be dreaming.

“I know, this is a bit of a surprise. I’m sorry.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “There’s just some things I wanted to tell you, and discuss with everyone else. Is that okay?”

“S-sure, no problem,” Bucky lied as he forced a smile onto his face. 

Stever led him to the table, and pulled out the only empty chair available, placed between Steve and Natasha. “Good to see you again, Barnes.” She winked at Bucky and, again, he felt close to passing out.

“Okay, everyone, let’s get down to business, then we can have dinner.” Steve remained standing until the room was silent. Once seated, he turned to Bucky. “I’ve been thinking a lot about you- well, how I feel about you, and I came to a decision.”

“Oh?” Bucky barely squeaked out.

“I love you, Buck. I love how you make me feel and… I wasn’t lying when I told Tony I would put down my shield for you.” Steve glanced Tony’s way briefly before turning back to Bucky. “You make me feel braver than anything ever has.”

Bucky blinked rapidly, after somehow having forgotten how to during Steve’s announcement, and cleared his throat. He could feel everyone's eyes boring into him but he kept his own on Steve. “I love you, too, Steve. I would never ask that of you, though. Putting down your shield… that's a decision only _you_ should make.”

“C’mon now, let’s cut to the chase,” Tony blurted out, and received death glares from the entire group.

“I’m going to hold a press conference; I want to tell the world who I truly am. I don’t want to hide anymore, I don’t want to keep pretending I’m someone I’m not. I’m going to come out.”

An unexpected warmth spread through Bucky’s chest, and he couldn’t stop the tender smile that Steve’s words brought to him. He stood and pulled Steve into a tight hug. “That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.”

Steve had a bashful smile of his own, but still leaned in to kiss Bucky on the lips. “I wanted to ask you if… um, if you’d like to be with me during the conference.”

“Seriously?” Bucky’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Absolutely. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to tell the world how in love with you I am.” Steve’s face flushed, though he kept his eyes on Bucky’s.

“Holy shit.” Bucky gaped. Although caught completely off guard, he still felt an overwhelming sense of joy. “I- I’d love that, Stevie.”

“Yay!” Clint shouted. “Mazel Tov!” 

Ignoring the outburst, Steve went on. “Also, Tony has something he wants to say to you. He’s been helping with making arrangements, along with Pepper, for the event.”

Bucky held back the cringe he felt, and turned to Tony, who was now looking back at him. 

“Barnes,” He began. “I gotta admit, I was wrong about you. It was a poor choice on my behalf to act so shitty towards you, and I apologize.” Tony looked around the table, as if checking to make sure everyone was listening to him.

“Uh, thanks?” Bucky glanced around and saw Natasha rolling her eyes at Tony.

“So, no hard feelings?” Tony pressed on. “Cap made it _very_ clear that what you two have is genuine and all that jazz. I think it would be for the best if we didn’t hate each other.”

“I don’t hate you, Stark, I just think you’re an asshole.” Bucky confessed with a shrug.

At that, everyone at the table burst out laughing.

“Fine, fine.” Tony crossed his arms and scowled at his friends. “Can we eat now?”

*

Throughout dinner, Bucky got to know each of the Avengers. He was happily surprised at how quickly they seemed to accept him and made him feel welcome. Thor was loud and boisterous but incredibly genuine and kind. Bruce was smart as a whip and even offered to show Bucky his lab. When Natasha chose to speak, everything she said was eloquent and to the point, pulling no punches, though never being cruel. As for Clint, Bucky would never have guessed how outgoing and hilarious he was. His humor felt unintended but nevertheless, he kept Bucky laughing the entire night.

“I heard about Steve going all Captain Can Opener on Tony, you must be pretty important to bring that out in him.” Clint chuckled, ignoring Tony’s exasperated expression.

Bucky shrugged, blushing. “I don’t know. I have a feeling Tony just brings out that side in everyone.”

“Hey now!” Tony shouted indignantly. “We just made amends, don’t make me regret it.”

“Tony, shut the fuck up. Bucky is right, you _do_ have that effect on people.” Steve rolled his eyes and smirked when Tony’s mouth dropped open in shock. 

The entire restaurant went eerily quiet for a brief moment before everyone erupted in laughter.

*

Excusing himself from the table, Bucky went into the restroom. The night was going well, even _with_ Stark there, but he couldn’t deny he was feeling a bit overwhelmed, and hoped that dinner would be over soon. After splashing some water on his face and patting it dry _,_ Bucky headed for the door. When it suddenly swung open, he nearly screamed in surprise, luckily he only gasped so hard it burned his throat.

“Buck, you okay?” Steve asked as he entered.

“You scared the shit outta me!” Bucky whined, shoving at Steve lightly but unable to keep himself from chuckling.

“Sorry, hon.” Steve grinned mischievously. “You look a little stressed, anything I can do?”

“Uh, no, I’m fine. Just getting a bit tired.” Bucky shrugged.

In the blink of an eye, Steve was crowding him up against the wall, kissing up his neck. “I can help with that, doll.” Before Bucky could even reply, Steve was dropping to his knees, nuzzling his face against Bucky’s groin.

_“Steve!”_ He gasped. “We’re in public, and your friends are right outside!” 

“Mmm, we better be quick then,” Steve murmured, mouthing over Bucky’s hardening cock. “That okay?”

Bucky only had to think for only a total of two seconds before nodding. “Y-yeah, okay.”

Giving a predatory grin, Steve quickly opened Bucky’s trousers and yanked them, along with his boxers, down to his knees. Bucky wasn’t quite at full mast, but when Steve suckled one of his balls into his mouth, Bucky thought he would pass out from the sudden rush of blood to his cock. Once his erection was jutting upward, Steve kissed and laved at the head, then ducked down, swallowing Bucky’s entire length.

“Fuck, Steve,” He whined, hands gripping tightly onto Steve’s hair. Without meaning to, Bucky thrust deeper into the welcoming warmth that enveloped his dick.

“Mmm,” Steve moaned and took hold of Bucky’s hips, pulling him closer. 

“Wh-what do you want?”

Leaning back, looking up at Bucky, his lips already looking red and swollen, Steve smirked. “I want you to fuck my face, Buck. _Please,_ baby, I want it so bad.”

Bucky was absolutely certain his brain was going to spontaneously combust, right in his skull, and leak out his ears. Without bothering to answer, Bucky tightened his grip on Steve’s hair and began fucking into his mouth. The arousal coursing through his body felt electric, and as he watched his cock disappearing between Steve’s lips, Bucky knew this was going to be over far too soon.

“Stevie, n-not gonna last, ‘m already close.” Bucky tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut, but when he felt Steve hum around his dick, he immediately looked back down. 

Steve’s blue eyes were staring directly at him, saliva seeping between his lips and down his chin. Bucky couldn’t stop the downright pornographic moan that burst out of him; he slammed his cock deep into Steve’s throat one last time and climaxed. Come filled Steve’s mouth but he swallowed down every drop of it, groaning in pleasure.

“Buck,” Steve rasped, sounding thoroughly wrecked.

“C’mere.” Bucky motioned for him to stand and Steve obeyed, quickly rising to his feet.

Pulling him into a deep kiss, Bucky licked into Steve’s mouth, chasing the taste of his release. Without stopping, he opened Steve’s pants and pulled out his cock, slick with pre come. Bucky only needed to pump Steve’s length a handful of times before he was spilling over Bucky’s hand.

“God damn,” Steve panted, “I’ll never get tired of you touching me, doll.” 

Chuckling and blushing, Bucky kissed the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Good, because I’ll never get tired of touching you.”

After one last peck, they both did their best to fix themselves up, then left the restroom. As they approached the dining room, Bucky could feel his face burning red; nearly everyone at the table was turned and watching them with knowing smirks. Tony, though, looked thoroughly scandalized. 

“Someone, please tell me I didn’t just hear Cap-”

“You heard _Steve_ sucking dick, Tony. Live with it,” Natasha smirked and stood. “I’m calling it a night, I suddenly have a very important meeting with my bed.” With a wink, she grabbed her purse and sashayed out the door.

The rest of the group quickly followed her lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Salty Cup is a shout out to Sebastian Stan's incredible role in The Devil All he Time, specifically his first scene ;)
> 
> I'm about 1/3 done with the final chapter, and I am trying my hardest to have it done by tomorrow!


	12. A Life That Is Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky finally have their happily ever after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a day late, but tbh, I'm surprised it's only one day late lol
> 
> This fic really taught me more about who I am as a writer, and I'm so grateful for all of you reading and commenting along.
> 
> Lots of love to my good friend Amy for continuing to step in and help me when I needed it <3

Bucky chewed on his bottom lip nervously as he watched the room fill with reporters. Everyone from CNN to the New York Times and more, were setting up cameras across the entire front row, waiting to capture Captain America’s every word.

“Hey,” Steve gently placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Are you okay? You can still back out, I’d understand.”

“No, yeah, I’m okay.” Bucky gave what he hoped looked like a reassuring smile.

“Gentlemen?” Pepper approached. “I’ve requested that the reporters not to ask anything inappropriate, but we all know there’s still a chance it might happen. If it does, I want you to move on without answering.”

Steve nodded. “I can’t thank you enough for setting this all up, Pep. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Oh, now.” She blushed. “I couldn’t just let Tony take the reins on this one, as much as he wanted to.”

“That is very appreciated,” Bucky answered sincerely.

A young man came up beside Pepper then. “Miss Potts, we’re ready to begin.”

“Thank you, Juan.” 

Turning to glance at Steve, Bucky could see the anxiety on his face. “It’ll be fine, hon. I’ll be right behind you.”

This seemed to pull Steve out of his thoughts, and he smiled softly. “Thanks, Buck.”

“Are you ready?” Pepper asked. 

Once they both nodded, she went out onto the platform and addressed the crowd. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” She began. “Steve Rogers has a brief announcement, and will take a few questions afterwards.”

The sound of cameras going off was jarring, but Bucky put it in the back of his mind and took Steve’s hand in his own, interlacing their fingers

Kissing their joined hands, Steve smiled. “Let’s do this.”

And with that, they entered the platform together.

*

Bucky took a seat behind Steve, and did his best not to wring his hands anxiously. Although he felt nervous, Bucky also felt incredibly proud of Steve for doing this. Coming out could be terrifying, and Bucky could only imagine how much more intense it was for Steve; a national icon standing at a podium in front of dozens of reporters.

When Bucky spotted Diana standing at the back of the room, her smile helped to ease some of the tension that was building inside of him. 

“Good evening,” Steve spoke into the microphone and the entire room went silent. “As Miss Potts said, I have just a brief statement to make, then I’ll take questions.”

He looked back at Bucky, who gave an enthusiastic thumbs up, and turned back to the audience. “First of all, I am here today for a few reasons. The first being to honor Peggy Carter’s memory and honor. Second, because I want to begin living as my true self. Last, but not least of all,” He gestured to Bucky. “I want the world to know how in love I am with Bucky Barnes.”

An eruption of noise flooded the room and Steve cringed, but when Pepper stepped onto the stage, everyone quieted. Steve nodded his thanks to her, and she departed backstage. 

“As I was saying, I’m doing this, in part, for Peggy Carter.” Steve began. “She was, by far, the most incredible woman I’ve ever had the honor of knowing. Peggy was brave, loyal, brilliant, and really good at reading people. She was the first woman that ever looked at me for who I was, even before the serum. She also was the first woman to know my well kept secret; I’m gay.”

Bucky watched, gratefully, as the crowd kept their murmuring to a minimum and allowed Steve to continue. 

“I never said the words out loud, but she knew nonetheless. At that time, it was illegal to be queer, and I knew it would disgrace my title as Captain America if the world found out.” Steve took a deep breath, then another, before going on. “Peggy accepted me for who I was, she didn’t care that I liked men. She also knew that it would be a catastrophe if anyone found out, and devised a plan for us to play a couple for the superiors and press. I knew it was for the best, but knowing I was holding Peggy back made me feel ashamed. Miss Carter was a woman ahead of her time and deserves to be known for her achievements, not for being Captain America’s beau.”

Steve took a long drink of water, and Bucky could see how his hands shook. He looked back at Bucky, cleary looking for support, and Bucky mouthed _I love you_ to him. A slight blush tinged his cheeks, but he smiled and went on with his speech.

“For a very long time I was ashamed of my sexuality, I thought my attraction to men meant there was something wrong with me. Now, I know that isn’t true. Love is something that should never be seen as _wrong_ , regardless of gender identity or sexuality. Love is love is love.”

Turning back at Bucky, Steve held out his hand for him. Bucky stood and took his hand, joining him at the podium.

“This is Bucky Barnes, and he is the best man I have ever known. He is a certified nursing assistant and helped care for Peggy. She told me how lovely he was and, now that I think of it, pretty much got us together. I’m so grateful she did, because I now have a partner that I am madly in love with. He was the one that taught me that Captain America is my title, not my identity _._ I am Steve Rogers and I will not continue to live my life hiding my true self.”

Tears pricked at Bucky’s eyes at the declaration, Steve deserved this freedom to live more than anyone, and Bucky was so proud of him for finally setting himself free.

*

After Steve finished answering several questions, he took Bucky’s hand and headed out the back of the conference room. Only moments later, Diana, Arthur, Luis, and Barry walked in, bright smiles adorning their faces. Diana pulled both Steve and Bucky into a tight hug.

“You’re so lucky to have him, Steve,” Bucky heard her whisper. “Treat him right, because otherwise-”

“Diana!” Bucky scoffed, but only received a playful wink in return.

“Hey there, fellas.” Arthur approached, smirking. “Good to see you two together again. What are your plans for the night?”

“Well,” Bucky answered, “I’m taking Steve out.”

“You are?” Steve asked, tilting his head, looking like a confused golden retriever.

“I am.”

“When?” Barry suddenly appeared out of nowhere. “Where are you going?”

“It’s a surprise, actually.” Bucky looked at Steve and couldn’t resist leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

“You boys should get going,” Diana chimed in. “C’mon, I’ll drive you.”

Steve, still looking utterly perplexed, accepted brief hugs from everyone, before taking Bucky’s proffered hand. 

Once they were on the road, Steve leaned forward from the back seat. “Thanks for the lift, Diana, I hope it wasn't any trouble. I’m sure Tony could’ve arranged-”

Diana quickly cut Steve off, “I am more than happy to help Bucky take you on a _date_.” She glanced into the rearview mirror and gave a mischievous smirk.

Looking back and forth between the two of them, Steve resumed his confused golden retriever expression. “Is there something you guys aren’t telling me?”

“ _No,”_ Bucky blurted out quickly, scowling as Diana simply hummed.

He was more than relieved when they finally pulled up beside 1 Hotel Brooklyn Bridge. 

“Here you are gentlemen, have a lovely time.” Diana singsonged, driving away as soon as Steve and Bucky had exited the car.

“Buck, this is a hotel.” Steve looked up at the imposing building. 

“You are correct, my love.” Bucky pulled Steve inside and straight to the front desk.

“How may I help you?” The receptionist asked cordially.

“Reservation for James Barnes.” Bucky pulled out his ID and handed it to her.

After typing briefly on her computer, she placed a keycard on the counter. “Here’s your key to the Liberty Studio Suite, should you need anything, let us know.” 

“Thank you.” Bucky nodded politely and grabbed Steve’s hand once more, leading him to the elevator and escorted him to their suite. 

As they entered the room, Steve’s jaw dropped. “Bucky, oh my God.” He looked around the room cautiously, almost as though he was afraid of breaking something. 

While Steve was distracted, Bucky opened the closet door and extracted an item from the bags he had dropped off earlier. He then kicked off his shoes and began unbuttoning his shirt.

When Steve finally turned back to him, he groaned. “Oh, doll, this is quite the surprise.”

Bucky stepped into Steve’s space and pulled him into a deep kiss. “I have us booked for the entire week,” He murmured.

“Yeah?”  
  


“Yeah, I think we deserve it.” Bucky licked his way back into Steve’s mouth.

Steve growled and lifted Bucky over his shoulder, marching them directly to the bed and gently placing him onto the mattress. 

“What’s that in your hand?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow at Bucky's closed fist.

“Oh.” Bucky opened his hand slowly. “I had our bags brought up before we got here. Had to make sure we had what we needed for the next five days.”

Steve took the small bottle of lube from Bucky’s hand, looking at it curiously. “You think this’ll last an entire week?”

“It might last until tomorrow morning.” Bucky laughed lightly, “I have a few different bottles, wanted to try out the wide variety available online.”

“Ah, the internet,” Steve sighed, opening Bucky’s pants and undressing him with nimble fingers. “So helpful.”

Once Bucky was completely nude, Steve began slowly disrobing.

“Are you trying to give me blue balls, Stevie? Because I needed you inside me like, yesterday.” Bucky whined, stroking his erection.

The way Steve’s eyes darkened made Bucky’s breath catch in his throat, and scooted back to the head of the bed. Steve continued undressing at the maddening pace, though, and only once he was naked, did he crawl up and over Bucky’s body. 

They kissed and rutted against one another until they were both panting and grabbing frantically at each other’s bodies.

“I wanna ride you,” Bucky groaned as Steve’s lips began trailing down his neck.

“Fuck, _fuck_ ,” Steve moaned obscenely. “Yes, want you to ride me, baby. Let me get you ready.” He reached down between Bucky’s sprawled legs and let out another curse when his fingers brushed against the plug inside of Bucky’s ass. “Goddamnit, Buck, you had this in during the press conference?”

Smirking devilishly, Bucky nodded. “I did, wanted to make sure you could fuck me as soon as we got here.”

“So good for me, doll.” Steve tugged at the plug, watching as Bucky’s face contorted in pleasure.

Bucky threw the lube at Steve, hitting him in the chest. “C’mon, _please_.”

Steve carefully pulled out the plug and tossed it onto the bedside table. He grabbed the bottle of lube and coated his fingers thoroughly, before sliding two fingers inside of Bucky’s stretched hole. A third quickly followed suit and Bucky found himself bearing down, needing it deeper.

When Steve removed them, and rolled over onto his back, Bucky happily got on board and straddled him. He watched intently as Steve drizzled slick over his cock, wiped his hand on the bedspread, and grabbed hold of Bucky’s hips. Bucky reached back and lined Steve’s cock up with his entrance and slowly slid down, moaning until he was completely full. 

“Mmmm, I love how your cock feels inside me,” Bucky gasped as he ground down on it. 

“I love _you_ , baby.” Steve tightened his grip on him and gave a small thrust. “Best ass I’ve ever seen, feels so fucking good.”

Bucky held himself up with his hands on Steve’s chest and began slowly riding him, reveling in the sensations and the sounds Steve made.

“I love you so much, never gonna stop.” Bucky leaned down and kissed him deeply, humming happily when Steve wrapped his arms around him, holding Bucky in place.

“Nnngh, Buck,” Steve murmured against his lips. 

Although Bucky enjoyed the slow, sensual pace they were going, he wanted to come; he wanted to come on Steve’s cock and then to be filled up until he was sloppy with it. With that, Bucky lifted himself back up, placing his hands over Steve’s pecs and squeezing.

Steve seemed to get the message loud and clear, resuming his hold on Bucky’s hips, and began to thrust up sharply. Bucky threw his head back as Steve hit his prostate with every plunge, pornographic shouts and moans punched out of him.

“Come for me, come on my cock, doll,” Steve grunted, fucking into him even faster.

“Gonna- gonna come,” Bucky mumbled in reply, looking back down at Steve. “Fill me up, wanna feel it spilling out of me.”

Bucky stared into Steve’s darkened eyes as his orgasm overtook him, thick ropes of his release splashing across Steve’s abdomen. 

“So beautiful,” Steve gasped, his lips parting as he filled Bucky up.

Collapsing onto Steve’s sweaty body, Bucky panted, trying to catch his breath. 

“You always give me the best orgasms,” He slurred, but smiling when he felt the vibration of Steve’s chuckle through his chest.

“Glad to be of service,” Steve replied, using his serious _Captain America_ voice.

Bucky snorted and lazily swatted Steve’s hip. “I would like to reserve that service for the foreseeable future.”

“That is not a problem,” Steve answered softly, kissing Bucky’s hair. “You’re my best guy, Buck.”

He lifted this head and looked down at Steve, smiling. A now familiar warmth filled his chest, and he knew that feeling was _love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this final chapter :) Let me know what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated and welcome!
> 
> Find me on Twitter @dixons_mama


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